Sunday 17 August 1997
Speaking of northerners, Levi have launched a range of T-shirts and shirts named Northern Soul for all you movers and shakers who like to get on down at those sweaty all-nighters. Like the chappie pictured here, who looks like he's having a hell of a time dancing in his kitchen. Or is he in pain? I can't tell. Anyway, the jersey polo tops and shirts go with the White Tab line of cord, twill clothing - definitely worth a look. Available next month from Original Levi stores and jeans stockists.
The summer has finally arrived, which means members of the female sex wear less and reveal more. The streets are full of long, lean, suntanned legs, cropped tops and plunging necklines, which makes most men out there gawp like children and wolf whistle. So, why when the sun shines do men drag out their old shorts which they wore when they went on 18-30s holidays; pull on their old, crusty trainers that smell to high heaven; and forget to wear a top, thus revealing boobs which are bigger than mine and rolls of flesh around the middle (also bigger than mine, I'm pleased to say). And to cap it all, they forget to apply deodorant! Pleeeese guys, give us a break, let us suffer no more. I order 90 per cent of the male population to treat themselves to a new pair of shorts and a T-shirt, a pair of trainers and a massive, yes massive, can of deo, to be applied morning and evening if venturing out after 6pm. Thank you.
Ever tried unsuccessfully to catch that someone's eye across a crowded room? You have? Ah, never mind. Apparently, to be successful you need "Cats eyes". Unveiled at the Athletic World Championships by Colin Jackson, who wore hand-painted "Union Jack" contact lenses made especially for him by optician David Clulow, these are the "ultimate eye-catcher at parties". Apparently tons of pop stars and fashiony peeps are now wearing them. If you can't afford a bespoke pair (from pounds 300), then take a look at the ready-to-wear range of designs, which include dollar signs, heart or star shapes. Mmm funky.
Your roses need pruning, your lawn needs mowing, your clematis needs clipping (or something like that), but you simply do not have the time or the right colour fingers. Don't fret. Just pick up the phone and call dial-a-garden, a la Noel and Meg Gallagher. Oh yes, those poppy-star types have no need to spend back breaking hours in their yards kneeling on their gardener's cushions. They pick up the phone and, just like ordering a pizza, they say: "Hello Mr Garden Centre person, may I have one rose bush, a climbing wisteria, 20 hanging baskets, a bed of pansies, some rockery, a fountain, a lawn, oh, and don't forget the gnomes. Delivered on the back of a truck this afternoon please. Cheers." I kid you not.
Life & Style blogs
Babies cry at night to stop mothers procreating, scientists claim
Naked yoga: the bare truth - it's already big in the US, and has now landed here
Health warning over 88,000 foreign doctors working in the NHS
Childhood bullying 'can lead to depression and unemployment in adulthood'
Baby catches deadly meningitis infection from cat
The food poverty scandal that shames Britain: Nearly 1m people rely on handouts to eat – and benefit reforms may be to blame
US Navy christens huge $3 billion destroyer ship USS Zumwalt that appears as a fishing boat on enemy radar
Scottish independence: It is the English who should be on their knees, begging the Scots to vote ‘No’
Nigel Farage fatigue? Half of voters ‘immune’ to Ukip’s appeal
Nigel Farage on Have I Got News For You: Ukip leader ridiculed over expenses and party 'fruitcakes'
Nigel Farage: I’m taking on the status quo, and the Establishment’s fighting back
- 1 Are you turning into your dad? The top ten signs you've embraced dad-ism revealed as survey says 38 is age men turn into their father
- 2 Overheard in Waitrose: documenting the chatter in 'Britain's poshest supermarket'
- 3 Video of British Muslims dancing to Pharrell Williams's hit Happy attacked as 'sinful'
- 4 24 people applied for the 'world's toughest job', here are their interviews
- 5 Grace Dent on TV: Game of Thrones has jumped the shark
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