Stick to block colours, preferably dark or at least neutral.

Go for fine-gauge knits. A chunky one will make you look, well, chunky.

Keep it short. Long-line cardigans that cover your bum are strictly for girls.

It's preferable to wear something underneath your cardigan – try a plain round-neck T-shirt.

Don't wear a cardigan just for the sake of it on a hot day. Sweaty is never going to be fashionable.

Avoid pastel colours. Slightly effeminate is good, outright girlish is bad.

Collared cardigans are wrong on every level. This warning is for your own good.

Resist the urge to embellish your cardigan – crests, logos and fancy ribbing mean you're trying too hard.

Mohair only works on rock stars. There are no exceptions.

Don't let your grandma make you one. Machine knits are preferable.