Even Richard Branson couldn't have foreseen this. As we head into 2020 there are two fashion kingdoms in the sky. The first is on a Rem Koolhaas-designed space station occupied by Miuccia Prada, whose power has grown to unprecedented proportions. The second is presided over by Marc Jacobs, who has recently designed a limited-edition monogrammed rocket that flies select clients into space to view his collections at their leisure. Lourdes Ciccone Leon and her (Louis Vuitton-clad) baby daughter front his current campaign and, inevitably, the cover of the iPhone app of Vogue. Back on Earth, to celebrate the dawn of the third decade of the new millennium, Dolce & Gabbana have just unveiled the largest fashion monument in history: a shrine to the bra, located high in the Hollywood hills.
Confusingly, Karl Lagerfeld, still designing Chanel – which along with Dior is the only remaining couture atelier – hasn't changed at all. Tongues have been wagging for some time now suggesting that this may be a case of bionic organ-replacement treatment but, in fact, it is more likely to be attributable to sheer willpower. It is true that, from 2012 to 2015, when there was a move away from the vogue for ultra-slenderness in menswear – inspired way back when by Hedi Slimane – he piled on the pounds to embrace the new generation of Japanese designers. Now, as you'll have seen from the Daily Coco, he's thin again and his collars are crisper and higher than ever, his sunglasses even bigger and blacker.
Remember back in the Noughties when we barely heard her voice? Now Dame Kate Moss is rarely quiet. After spending the past decade honing her oratorical skills, she tirelessly campaigns against the violation of human rights. When she ceased production of her collection for Topshop in 2015 for ethical reasons, the rest of the world followed suit and Primark sites were taken over by, yes, Prada. No one is perfect, of course, and Dame Moss is still spotted from time to time, glass of champagne in one hand, cigarette in another, dressed in vintage ermine coat and no knickers. Having received a knighthood in 2017, Sir Alexander McQueen is now tailor by appointment to King Charles.
Shunning his own "retirement" earlier this year, Martin Margiela returned to the arena and, following an image overhaul, is now a mentor on the Fashion X Factor with Helmut Lang. The would-be designers who made it to the final 16 don't know how lucky they are to be unceremoniously annihilated by these two fashion legends week in, week out.
Sadly, and despite the might of the international fashion industry, even the brains behind the most high-profile luxury goods conglomerates fail to ensure that the world stands still. And so farewell Roberto Cavalli's prize parrot, one of an original four, that is no longer. In a moment that brought the ancient Monty Python sketch to mind, it finally fell from its perch last summer never to revive and the designer's most recent collection, inspired by its exotic plumage, and shown to a sweetly squawky soundtrack, was the most moving of the spring/summer 2020 season. Victoria Beckham, clad in inky black vintage Cavalli catsuit with feathered lightning bolt emblazoned across the front, wept silently in the front row.
"I just can't begin to imagine life without him," she said backstage after the show. "He was just the sweetest, funniest, most generous and talented parrot ever. What more is there to say? Roberto is bereft." After the show, La Beckham hosted an intimate dinner for 5,000 of the designer's closest friends in the late, great bird's honour. Le tutti Milan was in attendance.Reuse content