Alexander Fury: Black Tie? It makes me look like a dummy
Wear, What, Why When?
Formal wear for men is supposed to be simple – black and white, figuratively and literally. I speak of the tuxedo, starched and butterfly-bowtied. The major debate? Whether it’s acceptable for that tie to be a “jazzy” colour (it’s not. Not even at Christmas).
Tux, tails, or something similar has been the after-dark uniform of every gentleman for more than a century. It still looks modern – clock the monochrome-clad dandies of Victorian paintings. They could be swanning about a soirée today.
However, there’s a caveat. The tuxedo may be a not-so-modern classic, but it doesn’t suit everyone. Namely, it doesn’t suit me. An ill-proportioned man (polite terminology for “short arse”) looks a mess in a tux. I have a perpetual fear of resembling a prepubescent usher from the provincial weddings of my youth. Either that, or a ventriloquist’s dummy, especially when pitching up next to similarly attired but much taller guests – particularly evident at the British Fashion Awards, which I attended last week.
The concern? That was merely the first in the month-long series of Yuletide events that firmly imply, or even formally demand, evening dress. For men, is there really no viable alternative to black tie at Black Tie events?
I ended up in a leopard pyjama-style jacket and tapestry overcoat, like a cross between Albert Steptoe and Hugh Heffner. Surrounded by dapper gents in black tie,
I stood out like a stubby sore thumb. But oddly, I was more comfortable than in a variation on the Penguin Suit. Maybe that says more about me than it does about most men’s evening habits, though.
Jo from Northern Ireland was less than impressed by Russell Brand's attempt to stage a publicity stunt
Life & Style blogs
Alexander McQueen at auction: What makes a really great piece of fashion?
A bottle of wine a day is not bad for you and abstaining is worse than drinking, scientist claims
No female ejaculation, please, we’re British: a history of porn and censorship
Stressed nurses are 'forced to choose between health of patients and their own'
Pornhub: Kim Kardashian's sex tape is the most-watched porn video of all-time
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
£25000 per annum: Ashdown Group: An established media firm based in Surrey is ...
£40000 - £470000 per annum + bonus: Ashdown Group: Java Developer / J2EE Devel...
£70000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Head of Finance - Financial Controller - Fina...
£30000 - £65000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This small technology business ...