Bouquets at dawn: Two Kates battle for wedding of the year

Different kinds of royalty will soon be walking up the aisle. But, asks Harriet Walker, whose big day will be bigger?



The couples



Middleton On 29 April, this balding guy called William is getting hitched to a girl named Kate. And we all get a free holiday out of it. After meeting at university in 2001, they lived together in a student house before moving to London, where Middleton pretended to get a job and sat on her perfectly manicured hands until her prince finally proposed.



Moss The mum and member of fashion royalty is marrying her rock star boyfriend of three years Jamie Hince. Actually, she's re-marrying him, having already had a secret ceremony last October. But Moss's father this week confirmed they are planning to wed again and get the party started properly this time. The slated date is 2 July – so guests will have plenty of time to order their bespoke creations for what promises to be the most fashion-fabulous wedding on the planet.



The in-laws



Middleton We know that William's family like Kate's because they invited them to shoot at Balmoral; this is a traditional means of showing affection in patrician families, where hugging and smiling aren't allowed. Former air hostesses Carole and Michael seem to get on with the Royals, although Leeds-born Michael will probably need to bring an interpreter and Carole will no doubt be chewing nicotine gum on the big day, as she did during William's passing out parade in 2006. At least she won't be outside puffing on a Woodbine though, eh?



Moss The confluence of genetics that led to Kate Moss's astonishing good looks comes from parents Linda and Peter, who divorced when their daughter was 13 years old, and whom Hince reportedly asked for permission before proposing to his intended. The guitarist comes from a modest background himself, having grown up in Woolton Hill, Berkshire, with parents William, Carole (this is the name du jour for mother-in-laws this season) and elder sister Sarah.



The venues



Middleton The Disney castle was all booked up, so Kate Middleton has had to make do with Westminster Abbey, the ancient site of royal comings and goings since 1065 and backdrop to William's parents' marriage in 1981. The final resting place of Elizabeth I and Mary Queen of Scots, let's hope the choir are loud enough to muffle the sound of them turning in their graves. Henry VII's ambitious kingmaker mother, Margaret Beaufort, is also buried there, so at least Carole Middleton will have someone to talk to.



Moss Moss and Hince's official wedding (they tied the knot earlier at a small stone church in Sicily) will be a more modest affair. St John's Wood Church is one suitably grand and neoclassical venue close to Moss's home but the model may be interested in less holy surroundings. It seems likely she'll pick a luxury hotel, such as the Mandarin Oriental or Claridges, where David Walliams married model Lara Stone in a suite last year, and Moss held her notoriously rowdy 30th birthday celebrations in 2004.



The dresses



Middleton News just in: Kate Middleton has chosen to copy a dress from Channel 4 series My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, a 6ft wide, 20-stone pink number illuminated by hundreds of robotic butterflies. Only kidding. Designers in the running to design the dress include cult Sloane label Issa and society couturier Bruce Oldfield. Snore. Fingers crossed for a train twice the length of Diana's that we can hitch a lift home on – there's a tube strike that day, don't you know.



Moss She is the face that launched a thousand looks, so whatever she wears for her wedding will doubtless be copied the world over; fans will be hoping that she returns for a one-off season at Topshop to design a cheaper, less well-fitting version. It's likely that she'll pick something vintage and iconic – past successes include a sequinned gown worn by Britt Ekland and a floor-sweeping Dior number that, when she ripped it at a party, had to be nattily pinned out of the way by close pal John Galliano. Her knack for accessorising means she'll no doubt choose something subtle, to highlight the enormous diamond rock that Hince bought for her, on the advice of retail mogul Sir Philip Green.



The guests



Middleton The Royal wedding guest list will no doubt read like a commemorative copy of Hello! with abstruse and distant royal relatives wheeled out from whatever tottering eastern European state they own. Perhaps Victoria, Crown Princess of Sweden, will be on hand to entertain the Middeltons; she married her former personal trainer last year so knows how to talk to the steerage classes. There'll also be several hundreds of creamy-skinned flowergirls destined for the back pages of Country Life.



Moss A veritable who's who of fashion, celebrity culture and the music industry, Moss's guestlist will be as closely policed as the Berlin Wall once was. Could ex-flames Daniel Craig and Johnny Depp turn up? The father of Moss's daughter, Jefferson Hack, will almost certainly attend, as will Moss's Primrose Hill friendship set, comprising Davinia Taylor, Sadie Frost and Pearl Lowe.



The after parties



Middleton After the Abbey, guests could move on to Boujis, a buzzing South Ken nightspot where people with glossy hair stand and smoke outside until the small hours. There'll probably be a State Dinner too (work from the outside in, Carole and Michael!) with an ambient groove soundtrack supplied by artisto-club promoter Guy Pelly. A brief flurry of panic will ensue when Prince Harry goes missing, but passes when he is located facedown on the Mall. The reception will provide an excellent opportunity for Kate's sister Pippa to trump her sibling by scoping out an even more prestigious husband. Somebody warn Michelle Obama.



Moss What do you buy the girl who has everything? Steer clear of fashion presents unless you're really convinced she'll like it, and don't bother with perfume either – Mossy has two brands of her own already. It's a tricky one, this, because Moss has been an independent woman since her big break at the age of 14. Better just play it safe and get her some Le Creuset.

News
A model of a Neanderthal man on display at the National Museum of Prehistory in Dordogne, France
science
News
Richard Dawkins dedicated his book 'The Greatest Show on Earth' to Josh Timonen
newsThat's Richard Dawkins on babies with Down Syndrome
Arts and Entertainment
Eye of the beholder? 'Concrete lasagne' Preston bus station
architectureWhich monstrosities should be nominated for the Dead Prize?
Extras
indybest
PROMOTED VIDEO
Life and Style
ebooksA superb mix of recipes serving up the freshest of local produce in a delicious range of styles
Life and Style
ebooksFrom the lifespan of a slug to the distance to the Sun: answers to 500 questions from readers
Travel
Dinosaurs Unleashed at the Eden Project
travel
Arts and Entertainment
music
Sport
football
Life and Style
This month marks the 20th anniversary of the first online sale
techDespite a host of other online auction sites and fierce competition from Amazon, eBay is still the most popular e-commerce site in the UK
News
i100
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs Fashion

    Quantitative Analyst (Financial Services, Graduate, SQL, VBA)

    £45000 per annum: Harrington Starr: Quantitative Analyst (Financial Services, ...

    Application Support Engineer (C++, .NET, VB, Perl, Bash, SQL)

    Negotiable: Harrington Starr: Application Support Engineer (C++, .NET, VB, Per...

    C# .NET Software Developer (Client-Side, SQL, VB6, WinForms)

    Negotiable: Harrington Starr: C# .NET Software Developer (Client-Side, SQL, VB...

    C# Developer (Genetic Algorithms, .NET 4.5, TDD, SQL, AI)

    £40000 - £60000 per annum + Benefits + Bonus: Harrington Starr: C# Developer (...

    Day In a Page

    Middle East crisis: We know all too much about the cruelty of Isis – but all too little about who they are

    We know all too much about the cruelty of Isis – but all too little about who they are

    Now Obama has seen the next US reporter to be threatened with beheading, will he blink, asks Robert Fisk
    Neanderthals lived alongside humans for centuries, latest study shows

    Final resting place of our Neanderthal neighbours revealed

    Bones dated to 40,000 years ago show species may have died out in Belgium species co-existed
    Scottish independence: The new Scots who hold fate of the UK in their hands

    The new Scots who hold fate of the UK in their hands

    Scotland’s immigrants are as passionate about the future of their adopted nation as anyone else
    Britain's ugliest buildings: Which monstrosities should be nominated for the Dead Prize?

    Blight club: Britain's ugliest buildings

    Following the architect Cameron Sinclair's introduction of the Dead Prize, an award for ugly buildings, John Rentoul reflects on some of the biggest blots on the UK landscape
    eBay's enduring appeal: Online auction site is still the UK's most popular e-commerce retailer

    eBay's enduring appeal

    The online auction site is still the UK's most popular e-commerce site
    Culture Minister Ed Vaizey: ‘lack of ethnic minority and black faces on TV is weird’

    'Lack of ethnic minority and black faces on TV is weird'

    Culture Minister Ed Vaizey calls for immediate action to address the problem
    Artist Olafur Eliasson's latest large-scale works are inspired by the paintings of JMW Turner

    Magic circles: Artist Olafur Eliasson

    Eliasson's works will go alongside a new exhibition of JMW Turner at Tate Britain. He tells Jay Merrick why the paintings of his hero are ripe for reinvention
    Josephine Dickinson: 'A cochlear implant helped me to discover a new world of sound'

    Josephine Dickinson: 'How I discovered a new world of sound'

    After going deaf as a child, musician and poet Josephine Dickinson made do with a hearing aid for five decades. Then she had a cochlear implant - and everything changed
    Greggs Google fail: Was the bakery's response to its logo mishap a stroke of marketing genius?

    Greggs gives lesson in crisis management

    After a mishap with their logo, high street staple Greggs went viral this week. But, as Simon Usborne discovers, their social media response was anything but half baked
    Matthew McConaughey has been singing the praises of bumbags (shame he doesn't know how to wear one)

    Matthew McConaughey sings the praises of bumbags

    Shame he doesn't know how to wear one. Harriet Walker explains the dos and don'ts of fanny packs
    7 best quadcopters and drones

    Flying fun: 7 best quadcopters and drones

    From state of the art devices with stabilised cameras to mini gadgets that can soar around the home, we take some flying objects for a spin
    Joey Barton: ‘I’ve been guilty of getting a bit irate’

    Joey Barton: ‘I’ve been guilty of getting a bit irate’

    The midfielder returned to the Premier League after two years last weekend. The controversial character had much to discuss after his first game back
    Andy Murray: I quit while I’m ahead too often

    Andy Murray: I quit while I’m ahead too often

    British No 1 knows his consistency as well as his fitness needs working on as he prepares for the US Open after a ‘very, very up and down’ year
    Ferguson: In the heartlands of America, a descent into madness

    A descent into madness in America's heartlands

    David Usborne arrived in Ferguson, Missouri to be greeted by a scene more redolent of Gaza and Afghanistan
    BBC’s filming of raid at Sir Cliff’s home ‘may be result of corruption’

    BBC faces corruption allegation over its Sir Cliff police raid coverage

    Reporter’s relationship with police under scrutiny as DG is summoned by MPs to explain extensive live broadcast of swoop on singer’s home