Carola Long: 'If you haven’t the time or the inclination to get slimmer, the last resort is the optical illusion of fake tan'
Saturday 17 July 2010
Deep down, most of us know that miracle beauty products are the adult version of believing in the tooth fairy. However, come high summer, with photos of toned celebs frolicking on Caribbean beaches seeping into the collective subconscious, I'd probably be willing to buy a body cream made out of jellyfish venom if I read that Cindy Crawford swore by it.
Thus, when Boob Job in a Box (£72 at Harvey Nichols) arrived in the office, my interest was piqued; something about the packaging's brazen lack of subtlety or tact. The blurb was blunt to say the least; it stated that women with firmer breasts "seem more confident" and grandly claimed it would "lift your bustline, accentuate your cleavage and totally round out your actual bust profile". It consisted of two creams to be applied twice a day, a giant elastic exercise band and instructions for six different chest exercises. Perhaps, surprisingly, it did actually work... a bit. It won't give you Lara Stone's décolletage, but the creams do firm the skin, while the exercises create a – very subtle – lift.
And with time for radical regimes running out fast, I'll take subtle results as long as they're quick. After all, mathematically speaking, surely multiple discreet treatments ought to add up to self-improvement squared.
You can't beat professional body treatments, and next week London's Glow Urban Spa (glowurbanspa.co.uk) is about to launch the first salon versions by Rodial, including Nip/Tuck, which targets dry skin, cellulite, water retention and stretch marks for smooth skin and a sleeker silhouette (£90 for 60 mins).
If you haven't got the time or the inclination to actually get slimmer, then the last resort is appearing thinner via the optical illusion of fake tan. With the return of the deep, bronze self-tan, gradual versions such as Johnson's Holiday Skin, just seem a bit half-hearted. Try one of the new super-dark products such as Xen Tan's Dark Lotion Absolute Luxe, £34.95 (xen-tan.co.uk); or St Tropez has a limited-edition Dark Tan Mist, dubbed "the fashion tan" which is available in salons nationwide (from £25, st-tropez.com). When it comes to the deepest tans, unless you are a real dab hand at application, it's probably best not to try this at home.
Life & Style blogs
Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time: 10 worst gadgets of recent times
The secret to a great sex life revealed: Two cups of coffee a day
New Zealand 'the best country to work as a prostitute', says sex worker advocacy group
What do the emoji on Snapchat mean?
Facebook status updates indicates whether a user is narcissistic or neurotic, research finds
- 1 Woman accidentally shoots herself in the head while posing for a selfie
- 2 Isis burns woman alive for refusing to engage in 'extreme' sex act, UN says
- 3 Puerto Rico, island of lost dreams: People are leaving the debt-hit territory in droves as near neighbour Cuba's star rises
- 4 Female Muay Thai champion hustles coaches to give them a beating
- 5 16-year-old girl beaten and burned alive by lynch mob in Rio Bravo, Guatemala
£40-50K: Guru Careers: We are seeking an experienced Software / C# Developer w...
£35 - 40k + Benefits: Guru Careers: We are seeking a Software Developer (JavaS...
£18000 - £23000 per annum + Commission: SThree: As a Trainee Recruitment Consu...