On the agenda: 'Room on the Broom' live; Isabel Marant at H&M; Ben Cohen, John Lewis Christmas ad; the Q Awards; Halloween
Middle-class problems: Halloween
Halloween used to be straightforward. You'd dress as a rotting corpse, terrify a few confused old ladies, and you'd come home with enough sugar to put you in a coma. Good times.
But this harmless fun, like everything else in life, is more complicated now than it was. First there's the question of whether to let your precious children wander the streets and knock on strangers' doors. Probably best not. To be on the safe side, you should trudge around with them, and even then you should stick to houses you've vetted. Besides, that way you can volunteer to carry your offspring's goodie bags for them, and surreptitiously confiscate half of the chocolate. After all, it's important to think about their health.
Unfortunately, not everyone is as middle-class as you, so when you open your own door on Halloween, you're likely to be confronted not by an adorable gaggle of moppets, but by six teens in hoodies, who mumble "Trick or treak" in between puffs of their cigarettes.
To be fair, they are being true to the Halloween spirit in some ways, in that they're far scarier than anyone dressed as a zombie, so maybe you shouldn't inform them that "Trick or treat" is a ghastly American import, and that they should really recite a poem or tell a joke instead. You can always reassure yourself that you're supporting a rare example of community interaction, and that you're helping maintain an evocative folk tradition. So put down the pepper spray, and stock up on fun-sized Mars bars.
Just don't get me started on Guy Fawkes Night.
Life & Style blogs
iPhone 7 (or iPhone 6S) leaked pictures show similarities to older model — but Apple is fixing the biggest issue of all
People all over the world are getting semicolon tattoos to draw attention to mental health
'Help me I'm trapped in a factory' messages keep being found on bottles of vitamin water
Google has set its terrifying, dreaming image robots on the public
What do the emojis on Snapchat mean?
- 1 Nathan Collier: Montana man inspired by same-sex marriage ruling requests right to wed two wives
- 2 Van driver who comforted Clark Carlisle and called 999 after suicide attempt dies age 24
- 3 People all over the world are getting semicolon tattoos to draw attention to mental health
- 4 Baby rescued 1km out to sea after parents forgot about her
- 5 Greek debt crisis: The photograph that conveys the despair of Greece's elderly
£17000 - £21000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a fantastic opportunity...
£17000 - £23000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a fantastic opportunity...
£17000 - £23000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: If you are fluent in Japanese a...
£16000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is a fantastic opportunity...