Ready To Wear: Grace Jones rocked but other Jubilee looks flopped
Leave it to the attendees of the Diamond Jubilee Concert to come up with every fashion faux pas in the book– and not just we, the sooty-faced, Union Jack-waving commoners.
First up, JLS. The violent emerald green that this conversely studiously unremarkable boy band chose to parade was only upstaged by the fact that they appeared to be aspiring to some sort of modern-day attempt at co-ordinated dressing, Grace Kelly style. This was hardly achieved with the finesse of a neurosurgeon. There was a green jacket here, green trousers, an emerald panel on a baseball jacket, an emerald-green trainer there. Finally, an emerald-green accent of colour (yes, really) was cunningly included in the form of an emerald-green earpiece. Woeful.
Next: more piping on a lapel than has been seen since the 1980s and it wasn't a good idea then, either. Stand up and be counted, some woman of a certain age in the royal box (knock me down with a feather if it wasn't Norma Major) in a white jacket with blue piping on a lapel so wide and sharply defined that further emphasis was not called for. Then there was Sir Cliff Richard's blush-pink (blush pink!) two-piece complete with white piping that begged the question: does a crying, talking, sleeping, walking, living strawberry daiquiri need more embellishment?
Nul points, too, to Annie Lennox's spectacularly stupid angel wings. "There must be an angel...." Geddit? And could someone please tell the artist formerly known as Cheryl Cole that glamour in this day and age isn't judged by the size of a gratuitous explosion of sequins/feathers/ tulle at the hem. it just makes anyone wearing it look like they grew out of – and/or are rooted to – the ground.
The exceptions that proved the rule: Elton John in rose sparkle with shades to match (the aforementioned Kelly meets Liberace); Kylie Minogue as an unashamedly slutty Pearly Queen; the Queen herself, glorious in gold, and, of course – inevitably – Grace Jones, a goddess of a woman whose Philip Treacy hat and moulded corset left everyone else in the shade.
As my good friend Lee opined: "Outstanding."
Life & Style blogs
Plus live in a folly tower and Towcester growth
Plus how much you need to earn to rent in London, and new homes figures
Plus where The Apprentices live, house price growth outside London, and househunter numbers
The 10 Best Scotch Whiskies
Casualty in crisis: A&E - a service in meltdown
The myth of the modern dad exposed: New book claims men still won't sacrifice their careers for fatherhood
The experts' guide to summer: From getting fit for the beach to recreating that Olympic buzz
Obsessive compulsive hoarding: A serious health risk in store
- 1 Heading for America? Prepare for the longest US immigration queues ever
- 2 Notes from a small island: Is Sealand an independent 'micronation' or an illegal fortress?
- 3 You thought Ryanair's attendants had it bad? Wait 'til you hear about their pilots
- 4 'Swivel-gate': David Cameron goes to war with the press over 'swivel-eyed loons' slur
- 5 It’s official: thanks to Stephen Hawking's Israel boycott, anti-Semitism is no more
BMF is the UK’s biggest and best loved outdoor fitness classes
Find out what The Independent's resident travel expert has to say about one of the most beautiful small cities in the world
Win anything from gadgets to five-star holidays on our competitions and offers page.
£28000 - £31500 per annum + benefits: Randstad Education Newcastle: Permanent ...
£50000 - £58000 per annum + Benefits and Bonus: Progressive Recruitment: SAP F...
£30000 - £40000 per annum + BENS: Progressive Recruitment: Drupal Developer A ...
£45000 - £50000 per annum + bens: Progressive Recruitment: C# WEB DEVELOPER Le...