Rebecca Gonsalves: Not all queens wear a crown, but with this hat there's little doubt that Her Maj is in charge. Beyoncé, take note.
Mike Higgins: Feels a little needy: hey, everyone, I might be in "disguise", but don't forget about me, will you? Could it be time for a Reine check?
Rebecca: I thought these were worn only by dogs and bandits – she’s obviously getting into the guns’n’ammo theme of a day out paintballing.
Mike: But Cannes isn’t exactly the Wild West, is it? Mind you, with the skull and crossbones motif, maybe she’s playing pirates. This dress-up malarkey isn’t easy, you know.
Rebecca: A Breton-stripe top, how Gallic. Well, when in Rome…
Mike: Perhaps she should have ditched that bandana and gone full-on cliché with a string of onions round the neck. Hard to knock a Breton top but this looks a bit slouchy for a once-slinky Material Girl.
Rebecca: We don’t know if they’re hiding liver spots or keeping her fingers attached, but they’re pretty much permanent. I wonder whether she sleeps in them.
Mike: Clearly she’s off to do some weights afterwards. Just five more! Come on now…