Stepping out in style: West at Save the Children's Secret Winter Gala fundraising event at London's Guildhall / PA


The hair

Rebecca Gonsalves: Those blessed with a curly barnet will know this mix of mad professor and bedhead probably took hours to tame.

Mike Higgins: Washed once a week in the sink, dried with tea towel, then styled with a splash of Old Spice. Martini, anyone?

The pocket square

Rebecca: See, red spotted handkerchiefs aren't just for runaway rapscallions – they can be used to add a splash of colour to a dinner jacket.

Mike: Do you think Mr West actually blows his nose on this? I hope so. With a comedy honk.

The shoes

Rebecca: Plain and properly polished. I'm not saying they're boring but I think my insomnia might be cured.

Mike: The family motto: a West who accepts compliments on his shoes needs to take a long, hard look at himself.

The jacket

Rebecca: Any hint of shine can make velvet look cheap, so full marks for this non-plebby jacket. Oh, the things one learns at Eton.

Mike: Caught behind the bar? Helping myself to the Chivas Regal? Moi? The jacket of a delightful bounder.