The hat

Gemma Hayward: I know it's raining, Kylie, but an umbrella would suffice – then you wouldn't have run the risk of being mistaken for one of the Village People.

Hugh Montgomery: We're pretty sure the last time we saw this cap it was being glowered beneath by Al Pacino in hilarious homosexual-culture spoof Cruising – as nods to one's gay icon status go, it's sadly no "Your Disco Needs You".

The bag

Gemma: How refreshing to see a celeb with a normal(ish)-looking bag. I'm pretty sure it's designer, but its understatement is its best feature – if only the rest of her get-up followed suit.

Hugh: Agreed, this battered satchel is great and a reminder that the pop pixie can do grungy as well as any bedraggled Hoxton man-child, lest you had forgotten that whole thinky-indie phase.

The shoes

Gemma: I quite like an ugly shoe, but these are one ugly step too far. They finish at an unflattering height and the fronts are left open. Then again, the less we can see of that hosiery, the better. Hugh: Come on, Kylie, we appreciate the trials of keeping hold of one's shoes, but six buckles is a little overcautious outside of a fly-wire finale.

The outfit

Gemma: Generally, you can't go wrong with an LBD. But with a stained denim jacket, dodgy accessories and 1980s-inspired fishnet tights, the result is abysmal.

Hugh: This ensemble may be a touch ragged, but it's no mean feat finding an outfit that will service the twin demands of an afternoon's tiling and a night on the tiles.