Rebecca Gonsalves: This retro-phone minaudière labours the current vogue for all things analogue.
Hugh Montgomery: The glasses look as though they've been drawn on after. The bag is a phone. Haphazard.
Rebecca: The capacious pockets on this parka must come in handy with such a teeny bag, but the fuzzy lining is surely a bit OTT for late July?
Hugh: This boring ensemble is simply not becoming of someone who dressed in a chicken suit for a month earlier this year.
Rebecca: Patterned tights are a good way to jolly up an outfit, but leopard splotches could be mistaken for something nasty contracted from a Portaloo.
Hugh: How poignant: an outburst of leopard print hinting at the festival outfit that might have been.
Rebecca: The chunky heel won't sink into boggy, beer-soaked ground, but brand-new leather implies you won't be treading on owt but the hallowed ground of the VIP area.
Hugh: These boots look like V sounds. (Dull.)