Gemma Hayward: I hope it's just the way her head is turned, and she hasn't gone for one of those asymmetric drama-teacher cuts. Can't deny they're lustrous locks, mind – if only she'd tell us which shampoo she uses…
Hugh Montgomery: These splendid sun-bleached tresses are as cool as a California breeze. (And as worked up as a Hollywood agent, we assume.)
Gemma: With so much white, does she have nuptials on the mind? So have she and Justin Timberlake tied the knot? Who cares! Imagine Jessica with a long bird neck coming out of the feather plume, just imagine.
Hugh: We predict a glittering career for this ornithological outfit: it could play in Swan Lake one week, and the Rod Hull biopic the next.
Gemma: I think the rule is this: the more beautiful you are, the smaller your bag. As there's no need to bring your make-up bag and a trowel on a night out. Jealous, much? Yes.
Hugh: Nice clutch, but this get-up really deserves some avant-accessorising – why not an egg?
Gemma: Where did she get these heels? Christian Louboutin? I have major shoe envy and they're the perfect footgear to style with a bird costume.
Hugh: Yes! Hot Pink Heels should definitely be the new Little Black Dress: they go with anything. In the sense that they don't. You know what we mean.