Fashion detox. You've heard the puff. It's January: time to go through your wardrobe and get rid of anything you haven't worn for the past three/six/twelve months depending on how profligate you may or may not be.
As if we've got time to do that, what with all the leftovers we're busy eating. Wouldn't it be better, then, to bite the bullet and actually put on the stuff we don't like, safe in the knowledge that, in only a matter of weeks, it might actually be necessary to leave the sofa and going fashion cold turkey might lead to quite spectacular style renewal when the time comes?
This, it almost goes without saying, also provides more than a little entertainment for those indoors alongside.
"I hate those trousers!" said my son this time last year. Knee-length Spanx over grey woolly tights admittedly looked (and indeed felt) like a rockery. "And here comes your Tudor dress..." It's Prada actually although even I have to agree that it might be oversized to the point of comedic. Less obviously of interest:a puce cashmere hoodie with diamante studded heart dangling from its ties (a Katie Price moment); Christmas socks that play a heart-warming rendition of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer every time I cross my ankles (the joke wears thin after the eighth play, let me tell you) and a chenille dressing gown the colour of an elephant that makes me look like one too. Yes, I know, I never should have bought it.
Christmas pyjamas? They're the men's plaid ones bought in a last-minute panic for my other half last century even though I knew he'd never wear them.
Christmas jeans? That'll be the skinnies stretched to the point where they're sheer at the knee. Lovely.
Best of all, though, is Christmas spent living in an army-issue Parka that's so huge it would fit an entire squadron, which makes it a breeze for me and my immediate family. It's got pockets big enough to contain the TV remote, two kilos of clementines and a cheeky Chocolate Orange and, as it's quilted, converts into a duvet in a matter of moments. Brilliant.
Of course, in a week I'll mostly be shelving it stepping out instead in head-to-toe new season Balenciaga. And, if you believe that...Reuse content