Ready to Wear: 'My mum wouldn't be caught dead in Crocs. Me? I wear them to the shops'

 

"I can't believe you're wearing Crocs," says my mother, who is far too chic a woman to ever think of so doing herself.

I am indeed. They are blue. They are a whopping size 9. And they officially belong to my son who, incidentally, wouldn't be seen dead in them, either.

They're finishing my look, obviously, which otherwise consists of an also blue Theory sundress. My hair is tied on top of my head where it looks, I believe, not unlike a curly pineapple.

This is by no means the only time I have been seen in clothing that no less than two generations – one older, one younger than mine – believe should be consigned to the bottom drawer, or even the dustbin.

Let me think… My favourite vests are from Muji and I seem to have owned them since the late 1990s. I daren't throw them away, as not only are they – unbelievably – still quite nice, but also the indestructible nature of the fibres they are made from would be bad for the planet, surely. I've got ripped, faded blue jeans, too, which are overly reminiscent of denim circa Club Tropicana for anyone old enough to remember it to consider fashionable. It's just that they're so soft. They're like tracksuit bottoms, in fact, which only makes me want to hang onto them more, carefully folded alongside all my other tracksuit bottoms… What am I saying?

And what of leggings, the 100 per cent Lycra kind: no new-fangled jeggings for me. Mine are cropped just below the knee and finished with a row of three white buttons that are, debatably, a detail too far (thank you, American Apparel). I look like Louie Spence in them, I'm told, and I don't think that's meant as a compliment.

Dressing to impress, at least some might think, is something that goes hand in hand with a lifetime spent thinking and writing about fashion. In fact, more often than not – and for me at least – when off duty quite the opposite is the case. No, I don't sleep with a Celine handbag tucked under my pillow or wearing a vintage 1930s petticoat.

"Actually, if I say Crocs with a sundress are fashionable then maybe that means they are," I duly inform my mum, who remains sceptical. As indeed, when Monday morning comes around again, and I unthinkingly actually go out of my front door to buy the papers in them, do I.

Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookPart of The Independent’s new eBook series The Great Composers
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs Fashion

    Recruitment Genius: Chiropractic Assistant

    £16500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Chiropractic Assistant is needed in a ...

    Recruitment Genius: Digital Account Executive - Midlands

    £18000 - £26000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They work with major vehicle ma...

    Recruitment Genius: Web Developer

    £28000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company provides coaching ...

    Ashdown Group: Front-End UI Application Developer

    £30000 - £40000 per annum + Benefits: Ashdown Group: Front-End UI Application ...

    Day In a Page

    Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own - Michael Calvin

    Michael Calvin's Last Word

    Timeless drama of Championship race in league of its own
    Where the spooks get their coffee fix: The busiest Starbucks in the US is also the most secretive

    The secret CIA Starbucks

    The coffee shop is deep inside the agency's forested Virginia compound
    Revealed: How the Establishment closed ranks over fallout from Loch Ness Monster 'sighting'

    How the Establishment closed ranks over fallout from Nessie 'sighting'

    The Natural History Museum's chief scientist was dismissed for declaring he had found the monster
    One million Britons using food banks, according to Trussell Trust

    One million Britons using food banks

    Huge surge in number of families dependent on emergency food aid
    Excavation at Italian cafe to fix rising damp unearths 2,500 years of history in 3,000 amazing objects

    2,500 years of history in 3,000 amazing objects

    Excavation at Italian cafe to fix rising damp unearths trove
    The Hubble Space Telescope's amazing journey, 25 years on

    The Hubble Space Telescope's amazing journey 25 years on

    The space telescope was seen as a costly flop on its first release
    Did Conservative peer Lord Ashcroft quit the House of Lords to become a non-dom?

    Did Lord Ashcroft quit the House of Lords to become a non-dom?

    A document seen by The Independent shows that a week after he resigned from the Lords he sold 350,000 shares in an American company - netting him $11.2m
    Apple's ethnic emojis are being used to make racist comments on social media

    Ethnic emojis used in racist comments

    They were intended to promote harmony, but have achieved the opposite
    Sir Kenneth Branagh interview: 'My bones are in the theatre'

    Sir Kenneth Branagh: 'My bones are in the theatre'

    The actor-turned-director’s new company will stage five plays from October – including works by Shakespeare and John Osborne
    The sloth is now the face (and furry body) of three big advertising campaigns

    The sloth is the face of three ad campaigns

    Priya Elan discovers why slow and sleepy wins the race for brands in need of a new image
    How to run a restaurant: As two newbies discovered, there's more to it than good food

    How to run a restaurant

    As two newbies discovered, there's more to it than good food
    Record Store Day: Remembering an era when buying and selling discs were labours of love

    Record Store Day: The vinyl countdown

    For Lois Pryce, working in a record shop was a dream job - until the bean counters ruined it
    Usher, Mary J Blige and Will.i.am to give free concert as part of the Global Poverty Project

    Mary J Blige and Will.i.am to give free concert

    The concert in Washington is part of the Global Citizen project, which aims to encourage young people to donate to charity
    10 best tote bags

    Accessorise with a stylish shopper this spring: 10 best tote bags

    We find carriers with room for all your essentials (and a bit more)
    Paul Scholes column: I hear Manchester City are closing on Pep Guardiola for next summer – but I'd also love to see Jürgen Klopp managing in England

    Paul Scholes column

    I hear Manchester City are closing on Pep Guardiola for next summer – but I'd also love to see Jürgen Klopp managing in England