Ready to Wear: What kind of a sad nobody makes an effort to look their best when they fly?

Greta Garbo Victoria Beckham most certainly is not. When she arrived at Heathrow airport recently in skintight black quilted designer leather, and big black cap and sunglasses to match, the result was more "leave me the hell alone" than "I want to be alone". Get you, Little Miss Sunshine. Whatever, this was among her finest sartorial moments to date, and a welcome change from the supercharged WAG aesthetic for which she is best known.

Moving swiftly on to that other A-list airport stalwart, Kate Moss. The charming people at the 'Daily Mail' had the gall to compare the world's most famous face's appearance as she got off a plane in LA earlier this month with the most recent set of pictures of her, blonde, beautiful and retouched in 'Vogue'. How could she let herself be seen like this, asked the copy that went with them. But what kind of a sad nobody makes an effort to look her – or, indeed, his – best when they fly?

Moss – and VB for that matter – only add to any media obsession with their considerable physical assets by being confrontationally in possession of that rare quality: the luxury of not caring. We all know that flying – and long-haul flying in particular – is not among life's most flattering pursuits. Who hasn't locked themselves in the loo on a plane and marvelled at the fact that, yes, their face really is twice the size it normally is; their nose was never a dead ringer for Gérard Depardieu's when they boarded, surely; and, no, they won't be putting their shoes back on because, well, because their feet are so swollen they can't.

Getting off a plane attempting to look anything but half-awake is simply futile, then – not to mention about as desperately uncool as dressing up for the school gates.

The powers that be at Air New Zealand beg to differ, clearly. And they should know. Not. They have employed the services of none other than Gok Wan to launch "the first ever 'Style in the Sky' guide to looking and feeling fabulous from check-in to landing".

"I've loved working with them [Air New Zealand] on this brilliant collection of hints and tips, so you can step off the plane looking pulled together, gorgeous and ready for anything," gushed the world's most unlikely – and, indeed, unconvincing – "style guru".

For the record, said hints include: using moisturiser, taking a spare set of clothing, and layering your look to control your personal body temperature. Did someone actually pay good money for this? It's safe to assume that neither Beckham nor Moss will be turning to Mr Wan for styling advice any time soon.