Sooner or later, someone has got to stop these brilliant new ideas regarding women's undercarriages coming out of Brazil and reaching these shores. Please. First it was Brazilian waxing. Then they gave us bottom implants. Now, an even more bizarre innovation has come out of the Brazilians' evident obsession with each other's bits: the GPS lingerie tracking system.
The "Find Me If You Can" range of underwear is the brainchild of lingerie designer Lucia Lorio. The racy set consists of a lace bodice, bikini bottom and a faux (of course) pearl collar, with a GPS tracking device neatly nestled at the waist. Or rather glued on somewhere under the armpit. But it has feminists up in arms. Claudia Burghardt, who purports to be a feminist leader in Berlin, said: "It is nothing more than a chastity belt for insecure men!" But Ms Lorio believes she is missing the point. Even if a woman gives her partner the password to her £500 tracking system, she explains, "she can always turn it off". This seems to be missing another point: that, even if a woman does give her partner the password to her sat-nav knickers, she can always take them off and leave them in the office.
Meanwhile, Hollywood has typically failed to understand the news that it is clever to have the whereabouts of one's undergarments monitored at all times. Step forward Gwyneth Paltrow, who went out in public at the Paris premiere of the film Two Lovers last week wearing nothing but her underwear – and plenty of it. Teetering up the catwalk in trademark killer heels and a saucy, black French basque, she showed that it doesn't take sat-nav for everyone to know where your pants are. Typically, beneath the see-through, lacy panel, sensible Gwynnie was wearing very proper, clean, white knickers.