Like investments, hemlines can go down as well as up

The most famous theory about fashion and the economy is that hemlines go up during boom times and skirts get longer during busts. Victoria Beckham seems to have designed her latest collection with all eventualities in mind, as the clothes she unveiled at New York Fashion Week incorporated the floor-sweeping and the buttock-skimming.

Other folk have been a little more enterprising when it comes to depression dressing, and have been crafting frocks out of everyday throwaway items. The Zipper dress, by the New York-based designer Sebastian Errazuriz, is a versatile creation, though could cause embarrassing chilliness if the unzipper gets stuck in Tube doors. Elen Rives, meanwhile, appears to be fighting the downturn by making her own clothes. Unfortunately, she left the sewing machine inside them when she put them on.

dVb by Victoria Beckham

Unveiling her second collection at New York Fashion Week, Beckham described a strapless cashmere dress as ‘very Mad Max’. Fortunately her press officer came to the rescue: ‘Don’t you mean very Mad Men?’

Sebastian Errazuriz

He claims his Zipper dress (£100) is recession friendly, because it is 100 different outfits in one. Avoid those ‘didn’t you wear that to the last redundancy’ conversations by unzipping knees one day, nipples the next.

James Corden

Imagine James Corden and Mat Horne’s delight when the Brits organisers told them they would get into Kylie’s frock and thigh-high boots. Imagine their further delight when this meant they would be wearing them.

Elen Rives

Frank Lampard’s ex appears to be channelling the more prosperous 1980s by wearing MC Hammer’s pants. Either that, or she is wearing a nappy and thought that the baggy crotch and a piece of string would disguise it.

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