Dog chains and suspenders: Vogue’s wardrobe essentials for 2017 are seriously bizarre

If these really are the new basics, I’m out

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As the undisputed bible of all things fashion, style-conscious women all over the globe look to Vogue for guidance on what to wear, but its latest counsel is more than a little baffling.

Declaring its ‘new basics of 2017’, Vogue is insisting we ditch the building blocks of a perfect wardrobe for alternative, timeless essentials. That sounds reasonable.

While trends may come and go the basics – that perfect white tee, jeans and your got-to flats – are forever, right? Well, not according to Vogue.

Instead, we should be trading them in for statement socks, khaki pants, dog chains and braces. Sorry - what?

The writer asserts that nowadays, “most of us are investing in timeless essentials we can wear nonstop, all year round”, and she’s right. But, since when did a pair of suspenders – and we don’t mean the racy kind - count as a mainstay for day-to-dressing?

Not since the mid-nineteenth century we believe but, perhaps we’re missing something.

The same goes for khaki pants. While we’re all for a more lax approach to the lower half – think straight leg denim and wide, tailored strides – this style saw its heyday back in 1998 with Gap’s iconic Khaki Swing commercial.

They might be making a comeback in the fashion world but, does that really make them a wardrobe essential, an item you can buy now and wear forever? We think not.

Statement socks and dog chains also made the bible’s top ten; the latter being an item we can kind of see the thought process behind. Chunky chains have been all over the runway this season – think Alexander Wang’s alt-culture chokers – but this is a trend, not a well-seasoned essential.

To top it off, the particular item Vogue suggested for this recommendation turns out to be a real, authentic chain control collar for dogs.

Forgive me if I’m wrong but, isn’t the whole point of a wardrobe essential that it should stand the test of time, never got out of style or lose its street-chic appeal? I hate to disagree with the sacred word of Vogue’s sartorial elite but, if these really are the new basics of 2017, I’m out.