Candid Caller

HOW WOULD you feel if a surprise celebrity turned up on your doorstep to join you for Christmas dinner?

Before the 12 days of Christmas get cracking, the Candid Caller asked: whom would you welcome with open arms? And who would get the cold shoulder?

Mrs Edwina Lord of Bacup: 'Steve Race would always be welcome in my house. I wouldn't want to see Jeremy Beadle or the one with Mr Blobby, Noel Edmonds. I can't stand him.'

Mrs Gertrude Dancer of Warrington: 'Put me down for Michael Aspel. He's lovely. I can't stick him with one finger missing, Dave Allen.'

Mrs Elizabeth Piper of Kilbirnie: 'I'd like Dave Allen to turn up. The other end of the stick would be Noel Edmonds; I rush up to turn the telly off when he's on.'

Mr Paul Drummer of the Isle of Wight: 'I'd want a good conversationalist, someone like Ned Sherrin. I would not want the Queen because I wouldn't have enough cutlery. It's one of those nightmares, isn't it? The Queen arrives and you've only got mugs. Nor would I welcome Tony Benn or, worse, Robin Cook.'

Master Paulo Maid of Battersea. 'I'd like to have Rik Mayall, but not the Queen.'

Mrs Roberta Swan of Cullybackey, Northern Ireland: 'Michael Barrymore would be a great surprise; he's brilliant. I'd turn away Les Dennis.'

Miss Donna Goose of Norwich: 'Richard Gere or any hunky man. Who's least welcome? French and Saunders.'

Mrs Doris Ring of Folkestone: 'Princess Diana but none of the other royals. I'd hate to have Bruce Forsyth turn up. He gets on my nerves.'

Mr Alan Bird of Swindon: 'I'd like to see any one of the Page Three girls and wouldn't want to see the tax man.'

Mrs Hazel Hen of Newton Abbot: 'No one famous. My brother Ralph from Australia; I haven't seen him since 1971. There is no one I would not invite in. At Christmas everyone's welcome.'

Mrs Karen Dove of Bradford: 'Michael Ball would be welcome. Michael Barrymore wouldn't'

Mrs Helen Partridge of Derby: 'I'd rather give Christmas lunch to a homeless person than someone famous - someone who really deserved a good time. Who would I least like? Jeremy Beadle. I do find him slightly annoying.'