On the agenda: Jose Mourinho; Sharknado 2; Muppets Most Wanted; Valentine's Day
Middle-class problems: Valentine's Day
By Holly Williams
So commercial. An invention of Hallmark. A commodification of love; a triumph of capitalism. Love isn't about buying stuff, is it? £3.50 for a card! That's just extortionate – it's guilt money. Love isn't about one special day, is it? We show each other how much we care every single day…
So goes the rational, slightly superior, I-did-a-module-in-Marxism-once middle-class stock response to Valentine's Day. Not for us, the fluffy bears hugging satin hearts – they fail on grounds of taste too, anyway (see also: "sexy" lingerie). We laugh in the face of a dozen red roses. How predictable! Our love could never be codified in such a fashion – and anyway, do you know the air miles of a bunch of flowers in February? And don't even think about going out for dinner: the struggle to get a table, the ridiculous mark-up, the limited menu, the other silently chewing couples all around you…
But you can, of course, protest too much. And woe betide the wooer who takes such snarks at face value. Because, if we're being really honest, no matter how much we might scoff and scorn, if 14 February (it's this Friday, eek!) passes entirely unremarked upon, a little corner of our heart will break.
No, we don't secretly want any of the above cheesy nods to Cupid. But maybe, if one's lover delivers a home-made card, or a mix CD, or a dinner reservation for the 15th, or – hell – even a text reading "Valentine's Day is capitalist bullshit but I do, in fact, love you"… well, we might just be able to put away the Adorno and find it in our hearts to adore you.
Life & Style blogs
Alexander McQueen at auction: What makes a really great piece of fashion?
A bottle of wine a day is not bad for you and abstaining is worse than drinking, scientist claims
No female ejaculation, please, we’re British: a history of porn and censorship
Stressed nurses are 'forced to choose between health of patients and their own'
Pornhub: Kim Kardashian's sex tape is the most-watched porn video of all-time
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
iJobs Food & Drink
£240 - £275 per day: Investigo: Support the global business through in-depth a...
Negotiable: Ashdown Group: Data Manager - MySQL, Shell Scripts, Java, VB Scrip...
£27000 - £32000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Application Support Analyst - near S...
£23000 - £27000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This successful group of compan...