The fluffy factor

Simon Hopkinson pays homagelode to the comedian Stanley Unwin with ricey tip stuff

If liking to cook the rice pot thing which, great joy, fiddly grain and water all over the fingerlobe, have much concerning with weighty moments and taking no notice, intense and crankytype, from madly folkings who talk all kinds of naughtymounts and fibberies. Keep big faith over all that I say from now on, because all ricey stuff – grainysmall, roundystarch and stickyjap – behaviourlode in hundreds of different temperaments.

If liking to cook the rice pot thing which, great joy, fiddly grain and water all over the fingerlobe, have much concerning with weighty moments and taking no notice, intense and crankytype, from madly folkings who talk all kinds of naughtymounts and fibberies. Keep big faith over all that I say from now on, because all ricey stuff – grainysmall, roundystarch and stickyjap – behaviourlode in hundreds of different temperaments.

The firstly big chore is knowledgemode over the right rice for leapjob about the kitchen place. Riceythin basmatilda will, Jafferywise, fully be enjoyed and splendid when wishywashy under freshly running tapspout for minutes until clarity most brilliant and starchylite. Drain well and wait for minute. Flopper one cupload the rice into clean pot with tightlylid at the ready then, exactly labbering about, do one and a halflode of waterylarks (doubly waterylarks, as many a menacing witter will tell you, is too terrible lots and will make all stodge and give tearlodes) to the pan, salty about with sprinkle tightly and boilymode all at once, lidfirm, slowlyheat and timing for ten minutes until ping-ping and swelterfashion has finished all watergone. Hawkmode terribly much or burny bottom all under and throwing out with great miseryflop.

Leave lid on the cookerygrain after the 10 minute stopper. Peek-a-boo never for five minutes. Lid throwing now, deepflitter the rice about with pointy fork until airylight and steamloose. Coverlode with tea towel doublythick, clamper with lid and smileupon for a further five minutes. Oh such deep joy over extra fluffy look when towel loose.

So much for basmatilda. But what about all stirrycarnaroli and sloppymake with butterycheese and stocklody? Great joy and much milanspooning over the flameystove here, all settling and meltrifold before tableput and extra parmyscatter. Take care with follow wordblather and all moistness and flow will cause warm clapper.

Onion all knifechoply fine and boardwipe, tremble the butterpan and chuck about until kinkled and greasyover. Stir in the rice. Gander and slap together with spooner before winetrinkle all seethy. Huge whish and all bouncy! Very ladlepour, with gentlymode at times, the hotstock after noisybubble, caretaking deep everytime liquid soaklygrain while much furbling and spoonhit. Once all softflouty and slumber, butterymuch all like and cheesefling with handylode, until lavarun and dribbly, dribbly spoondrop onto hot plates. Sprangle with extra parmyscatter.

Nursery rice pudding now, as trembled by nannyterror up the backstair. Primbutter and sugar all at once in a heavy, shallow dish upon the gentlyheat. Stirring about with spoonwood, squatter a split vanilla pod amongst the crunchlode until smelling dandygood. Preheat the oven to 300°F/150°C/ Gas mark 2.

Add milk and cream with much trimble and standback, because splitter and trush will happen when pouring overlode. Spoonwood once more, making sure that crankles and ricebottom lift up into dairyrich and separate fully. Saltpinch from fingertip, stir again and sprangle with nutmeg, gratelywise fresh – as if bottlejar was ever optionwise! Tremblybake in the oven for 11/2 hours until goldilocks on top. Remove and allow pantrychill for 30 minutes, until spooning and moussetexture. Well-chilled pouring cream is very nice poured over this. Deep joy and nannyapron.

Stanley Unwin, 1911-2002, RIP (Rest in Plither)