At long last – Elizabeth Hurley pigs out

The celebrity-endorsed ready meal now has a meaty main course to replace Linda McCartney's pies

It seems fair to say that most people don't look at Elizabeth Hurley and think, "now there's a woman who enjoys her sausage and mash". But news breaks that one of England's most prestigious clothes hangers is running to pork.

Selling it, that is, to butchers and retailers near her Cotswolds home. Hurley Old Spot is reared on her 100-acre estate, and is said to make "beautiful Sunday roast joints and prime bacon and sausages". This is good news for those of us who only eat food reared by celebrities, and had been looking in vain for a main course.

The celebrity supper is amply supplied with starters: for instance Duchy Originals spinach soup with nutmeg and sage, hand-blended by His Royal Highness Prince Charles himself. Olivia Newton-John's Koala Blue Chardonnay is a perfect accompaniment.

Hitherto, however, the main course has been predominantly vegetarian. It is seldom the cream of rural society does not enjoy a Linda McCartney Country Pie, accompanied by Daylesford Organic vegetables (£10 a bag), dug up by genuine JCB millionaires, marinated in Paul Newman's Own Mesquite with Lime marinade and cooked in a George Foreman Grill. Cliff Richard's Vida Nova 2005 Red – which "has enough quality tannins for ageing" – washes it down beautifully.

The Duchess of Devonshire's Chatsworth estate provides a fine dairy ice-cream for dessert, while for the more modern connoisseur of celebrity nosh, a Little Wallop from the former Blur bassist, Alex James, is a superlative treat. That is a cheese, incidentally, and it harmonises beautifully with Bob Dylan's Fattoria Le Terrazze 2002 Planet Waves.

Should all this not satisfy, the former Cheech & Chong star Cheech Marin makes a smoking range of hot sauces. But beware: Liz Hurley does not appreciate it when food philistines pour these over her bangers.