Next week the bursting chocolate shelves will be getting a new addition, Cadbury's Crispello, a bar made up of three wafer shells with a creamy centre and covered in their signature chocolate (a Cadbury's version of a Ferrero Rocher, by the sounds of it). It might seem as though Cadbury is constantly flogging fresh bars, but apparently this is the first new one to be launched since the 1990s (its other newcomers are all variants on the Dairy Milk theme, it seems).
But what's even more astonishing is that Crispello is to be targeted at women (with a £7m advertising campaign to really shove it down our throats). It's all to do with numbers, apparently.
It is believed women (who are much too preoccupied with dieting to be snacking on Curly-Wurlys) are the main cause of a 6.6 per cent year-on-year drop in the value of the chocolate "singles" market, worth £800m. Cadbury's is hoping its bar, which contains just 165 calories and comes in a re-sealable packet so it can be eaten one piece at a time (yeah, right), will woo women back to buying chocolate.
And so the trend for gendered chocolate bars sadly continues. Ladies in Flake adverts writhe around in overflowing baths in pseudo-orgasmic pleasure while Yorkie subtly mark the sides of its bars with "IT'S NOT FOR GIRLS". Snickers even put Mr T in a tank yelling "Get some nuts" to nudge men in the right direction.
Crispello's slogan will be "A little treat for you" (groan).
Give me a Snickers any day.