It’s been a busy couple of years at Philadelphia HQ. The range of pallid spreadable cheese seems to  be attempting to catch up to Heinz when it comes to varieties of flavour.

Take a trip to the cheese aisle in your local supermarket and you will have a job finding the bog-standard plain stuff, for the fridge shelf is now crammed with a  whole multicoloured spectrum of flavours.

Joining the brown-hued mash-up that is the Philly with Cadbury chocolate, and alongside the chives and grilled pepper version, you’ll find Philadelphia with smoked salmon and dill.

To which I say simply: NO. First off, raise your hand if you trust “smoked salmon” in spready form ( thought not). And, big picture here, guys, the cream cheese tends to go ON the salmon, not the other way around.