The Daily Mail was appalled to find that a firm that produces sandwiches for Waitrose, M&S, Tesco and more were "forced" to recruit 300 staff from
Hungary "HUNGARY" yesterday, its front page screaming "Is there no one left in Britain who can make a sandwich?"
The article seemed to argue that the British public deserves better than a sandwich made by a Hungarian person and that the apparently over-generous welfare system has created a nation of people who feel they are above making the snack.
So for all you loathsome, profligate sandwich-dodgers out there, here's how to make one:
- Stop spending benefit money on parsnip crisps and Faberge eggs and cut two slices of bread.
- Pause your 15-hour Call of Duty session and generously butter them.
- Add a filling of your choice while thinking about how you can shirk work for the next 15 years and learn to sketch Jeremy Kyle's face from memory, probably.
- Bring the two slices together in a bready union, and laugh in a sinister fashion as the country goes to the dogs and Hungary emerges as a sandwich-toting superpower.
Here's a few early attempts from other British wastrels:
Aw, man. The Daily Mail is right. pic.twitter.com/127308uA6y— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) November 9, 2014
Been trying to make the kids sandwiches for 45 minutes now. I give up. . pic.twitter.com/jGSpgoRdRZ— Twinks (@tinytwink) November 9, 2014