Tamarai, London WC2

Everything is black. Very black. The floors are black, the ceiling is black, and most of the staff wear black. I, too, am wearing black. If I keep my mouth shut and close my eyes, nobody will know I am here - the perfect restaurant critic in action.

It seems to be very fashionable to be left in the dark, and Tracey Emin, David Bailey, Bryan Ferry, Julien Macdonald and Tamara Mellon have apparently all partied at the recently opened Tamarai. I say apparently, as they may very well be here tonight, and I just can't see them.

I feel thankful to be here at all, having wandered off the street and down seemingly endless narrow corridors reminiscent of the classic scene in the film This Is Spinal Tap, when the band gets hopelessly lost backstage at one of their own concerts. You turn right, then left, then down a flight of stairs, then - "Hello, Cleveland!" - it's showtime.

The latest creation of the Indian-based Old World Hospitality Group (which also owns Mayfair's Chor Bizarre and 11 more restaurants in New Delhi), Tamarai brings a little Bollywood glam to the low-ceilinged room. Ambient music competes with the crashing of cocktail shakers from the dramatically backlit bar. Once one's vision adjusts, there is light at the end of the tunnel, too; feature walls of changing fluorescent light, and several softly glowing LCD screens floating with images of the lotus (flower, not position). The place has energy by the bucketload.

Even the tables are not so much set as completely furnished. Plates are creatively off-square, glasses are sweepingly curved, cutlery is pin-thin, and burgundy cloths are topped with glossy black placemats and coasters. Given the choice of so many exciting options, it seems the designers were loathe to miss anything out.

Similarly, chef Manish Mehrotra packs as many Asian cuisines into his repertoire as he can muster. Tamarai's menu is said to follow the "Lotus Route" from Chettinad in southern India to Burma, China, Hong Kong, Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia and Vietnam, which is spin for a mixed bag of pan-Asian dishes much in the mould of Cocoon, Gilgamesh and Taman Gang. So there is Chinese shark fin soup, Vietnamese caramel pepper prawns, Thai chicken green curry, Burmese beef kauk swey, Malaysian rare-grilled beef, and Chettinad curry leaf prawns.

The very nice, friendly waiters, of whom there are many, all suggest the tasting menu, but I strike out alone with à la carte. My meal kicks off with a crisp little pastry cup similar to a Malaysian "top hat", filled with a mix of prawn and water chestnut. It's more crunch than anything else, but is pleasant enough. Next, a platter of little cocktail idli (£4.50), which are small, puffy discs of Southern Indian steamed rice and lentil batter cakes. Always bland, these need a spicier lift than that given by a small glass of pachadi (raita).

From Chettinad, we jet off to China for a steamer basket of unexceptional dim sum (£6.50). Next, there is a quick stopover in Bangkok for a crab and pomelo salad (£10.50) - which is unattractively moulded on a black plate, and, again, it is under-powered, needing more chilli, fish sauce and lime juice to make it effective.

This lack of an authentic balance of flavours has long been a hallmark of the pan-Asian menu, so no changes there. What does rattle my pans, however, is the globally adventurous wine list, which is completely unintimidated by the broad range of dishes. It is a masterclass in Wines That Go With Asian Flavours, from the spice-friendly Sauvignon Blancs and Rieslings to the rosés and light reds, with plenty of interest under the £30 mark. Put together by Tim Atkin MW, it holds quirky, little-known gems such as a refreshing Australian Pinocchio Rosato 2005 (£27), as well as a Delta Pinot Noir 2005 from Marlborough (£44) that saves the night for me.

Next come rock salt lamb chops (£13.50). I really like the complex, rich curry sauce and the good-time garnish of crisp dosai pancake. The lamb is a bit chewy, however. A nicely spiced Penang curry sea bass (£14.50) is a generous dish with good fish, while a side dish of "burnt spring onion noodles" (£3) is flat and dull.

The best dish is a "small plate" of Vietnamese caramel pepper prawn (£8.50): sticky, spicy and scorchy, it has heat, life and sparkle. It tells me the kitchen is capable of much more than the mostly bland food I have eaten tonight. The Thai food doesn't taste particularly Thai, the dim sum doesn't feel very Cantonese, and even the puds - five-spice chocolate mousse, various sorbets - are lacklustre.

This is so often the case with these fusiony pan-Asian menus that you would think we could leave this dated concept behind us, and concentrate, as a mark of the rapidly maturing food culture of Britain, on what we are good at. Here, I suggest that would be Indian food. A fun Bollywood nightclub with the confidence and style to do good Indian food - now that I would like to see. If I could see anything, that is.

12/20

Scores 1-9 stay home and cook 10-11 needs help 12 OK 13 pleasant enough 14 good 15 very good 16 capable of greatness 17 special, can't wait to go back 18 highly honourable 19 unique and memorable 20 as good as it gets

Tamarai, 167 Drury Lane, London WC2, tel: 020 7831 9399. Lunch and dinner served Monday to Saturday. Dinner around £140 for two including drinks and service

Second helpings: More worthy wine lists

The Terrace, St Tudno Hotel Promenade, Llandudno, Wales, tel: 01492 874 411 Situated on Llandudno's seafront, The Terrace is famed for its spectacular murals of Lake Como, its refined, modern European cooking, and for Martin and Janet Bland's eye-popping, 250 bin-strong wine list.

Three Chimneys Colbost, Dunvegan, Isle of Skye, tel: 01470 511 258 For over 20 years, Shirley Spear's inspired modern Scottish cooking and Eddie Spear's lovingly stocked cellar (including a vast array of malts) have been attracting food and wine lovers from all over Britain.

Enoteca Turi 28 Putney High Street, London SW15, tel: 020 8785 4449 Giuseppe Turi's vastly popular "wine library" is a treasure trove of honest, regional Italian cooking and hand-picked, food-friendly wines, both from Italy and beyond.

Email Terry Durack about where you've eaten lately at t.durack@independent.co.uk