Rich Teas are the best biscuits, Hobnobs are soggy imposters, scientists find

Lionel Richtea approves of this research

Having discovered the 'God Particle', science has turned to its next major challenge - determining which household name biscuit is best for dunking.

A comprehensive study led by Dr Stuart Farrimond found that when tested in hot tea at the optimum dunking angle of 90 degrees, Rich Teas were still going strong after 20 seconds.

Hobnobs were the first to crumble meanwhile, lasting just four seconds, followed a split second later by the similarly insubstantial Ginger Nut.

Sadly there was no mention of the undisputedly majestic Malted Milk.

Favourite of many, the Rich Tea was found to take longer to absorb tea and offered better flexibility, an ideal dunk lasting between seven and 14 seconds.

The study had its flaws though, presuming stamina is everything in a biscuit, failing to take into account general deliciousness, and being of questionable objectivity given it was commissioned by McVitie's. Well played, Rich Tea (Picture: McVitie's)

"The Hobnob biscuit is suitable for short dunks only because it is an oat-based biscuit, rather than wheat based - the larger oat particles in the Hobnob provide less structural strength to the biscuit," Dr Farrimond said in his science publication, Guru Magazine.

"A chocolate coating - or a cream filling - gives a biscuit additional strength. Hobnobs, get away from my beverage you soggy nightmare (Picture: McVitie's)

"The chocolate covering on a chocolate digestive melts in the hot liquid, acting as a sticky gum to glue the surface of the biscuit together.

"A chocolate digestive lasts over six times longer than the naked digestive in prolonged dunking."

In a bid to reduce the number of over-dunks, where the biscuit break and falls to the bottom of the mug as a sludgy mess, Dr Farrimond called for a "traffic light system" on packets.

"Given the danger of a hot biscuit falling onto a clean shirt, there should be a ‘dunk-o-meter’ traffic light advisory system for all packets of cookies and biscuits," he said.

"A red circle would indicate short dunk of under five seconds, amber would advise a five to ten second dip and green for longer."

Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookPart of The Independent’s new eBook series The Great Composers
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs Food & Drink

    Guru Careers: Front of House Receptionist / Receptionist

    £21K: Guru Careers: We are seeking a Front of House Receptionist to provide th...

    Recruitment Genius: Bid / Tender Writing Executive

    £24000 - £27000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: With offices in Manchester, Lon...

    Guru Careers: Marketing Executives / Marketing Communications Consultants

    Competitive (DOE) + Benefits: Guru Careers: We are seeking a number of Marketi...

    Recruitment Genius: Marketing Executive

    £20000 - £27000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This well established business ...

    Day In a Page

    Revealed: Why Mohammed Emwazi chose the 'safe option' of fighting for Isis, rather than following his friends to al-Shabaab in Somalia

    Why Mohammed Emwazi chose Isis

    His friends were betrayed and killed by al-Shabaab
    'The solution can never be to impassively watch on while desperate people drown'
An open letter to David Cameron: Building fortress Europe has had deadly results

    Open letter to David Cameron

    Building the walls of fortress Europe has had deadly results
    Tory candidates' tweets not as 'spontaneous' as they seem - you don't say!

    You don't say!

    Tory candidates' election tweets not as 'spontaneous' as they appear
    Mubi: Netflix for people who want to stop just watching trash

    So what is Mubi?

    Netflix for people who want to stop just watching trash all the time
    The impossible job: how to follow Kevin Spacey?

    The hardest job in theatre?

    How to follow Kevin Spacey
    Armenian genocide: To continue to deny the truth of this mass human cruelty is close to a criminal lie

    Armenian genocide and the 'good Turks'

    To continue to deny the truth of this mass human cruelty is close to a criminal lie
    Lou Reed: The truth about the singer's upbringing beyond the biographers' and memoirists' myths

    'Lou needed care, but what he got was ECT'

    The truth about the singer's upbringing beyond
    Migrant boat disaster: This human tragedy has been brewing for four years and EU states can't say they were not warned

    This human tragedy has been brewing for years

    EU states can't say they were not warned
    Women's sportswear: From tackling a marathon to a jog in the park, the right kit can help

    Women's sportswear

    From tackling a marathon to a jog in the park, the right kit can help
    Hillary Clinton's outfits will be as important as her policies in her presidential bid

    Clinton's clothes

    Like it or not, her outfits will be as important as her policies
    NHS struggling to monitor the safety and efficacy of its services outsourced to private providers

    Who's monitoring the outsourced NHS services?

    A report finds that private firms are not being properly assessed for their quality of care
    Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

    Zac Goldsmith: 'I'll trigger a by-election over Heathrow'

    The Tory MP said he did not want to stand again unless his party's manifesto ruled out a third runway. But he's doing so. Watch this space
    How do Greek voters feel about Syriza's backtracking on its anti-austerity pledge?

    How do Greeks feel about Syriza?

    Five voters from different backgrounds tell us what they expect from Syriza's charismatic leader Alexis Tsipras
    From Iraq to Libya and Syria: The wars that come back to haunt us

    The wars that come back to haunt us

    David Cameron should not escape blame for his role in conflicts that are still raging, argues Patrick Cockburn
    Sam Baker and Lauren Laverne: Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

    Too busy to surf? Head to The Pool

    A new website is trying to declutter the internet to help busy women. Holly Williams meets the founders