FOR THE RECORD: Quotes

Would the Foreign Secretary not agree, that given what happened on September 16, 1992, our rejoining the ERM would be like a dog returning to its vomit?

Dennis Skinner MP

He reminded me of a mother in a supermarket, trying to control a group of unruly toddlers. He would soothe, pat and cajole, but as soon as he turned round, they would be pulling each other's hair again.

Pat Dessoy, John Major's sister, on his efforts to keep the Tory party together.

Maybe I have killed enough people in Oxford, 73 at the last count. I'm spending more time in the garden. I'm trying to mow the lawn a bit more often.

Colin Dexter on why he does not plan to write another Inspector Morse book.

I think it's art, but then I'm a man. It's not possible for me to judge that.

Visitor to ICA on a video of women naked from the waist down.

To my horror and shame after moving house , I discovered three books which I have failed to return after 24 years.

Borrower's letter to Leamington Spa Library with a cheque for pounds 380 to cover fines.

They should leave the ceremony well alone. I rather like the introduction because you get an opportunity to see the new peers. But at my age you don't really remember them even if you have seen them.

Lord Hailsham of Marylebone on plans to overhaul the 370-year old, 11- minute introduction ceremony for new peers to the House of Lords.

To be with a woman and not to have intercourse with her is more difficult than to raise the dead.

Desmond Swayne MP arguing against women serving in infantry regiments.

You have made a great personal contribution to strengthening the country's defence potential.

Boris Yeltsin thanks Mikhail Kalashnikov on the 50th anniversary of his automatic rifle

I propose a sexual strike until December to demand an end to violence and call on women to follow Lysistrata's example. I see it as the only way and a last-resort attempt to bring peace to our war-ravaged country.

The chief of Columbia's armed forces on tactics to end the 40-year civil war.

Indications are that a small group of Zambian soldiers had too much to drink on Monday night and decided to take over the government.

Zambian government spokesperson on the failed military coup.

I think you've found your place. I think the hair, it's there. It's there!

Oprah Winfrey to Hillary Clinton on the joys of turning 50.