The Saturday Miscellany: 'Auto-Hope'n'Change'; chuggers; how to get upgraded on a flight

 

The digested fad: The 'Auto-Hope'n'Change'

By Larry Ryan

You may be aware of "Damn You Auto Correct", a meme charting examples of when smartphones’ meddling predictive text systems throw awkward entendres into innocent conversations.

But some relaxed texters see it less a curse and more a crutch, happily relying on what we'll now call Auto Hope'n'Change (or "Auto hi and Chang").

Safe in the knowledge that the phone is going to fix things, one can misspell a word knowing that change is coming to the text.

But be warned, sometimes if you double down on your bad spelling expecting Auto Hope'n'Change to kick in, it can confuse the hell out of the phone and you end up with a line of govbledygkdb.

A brief opinion I hold

By Enjoli Liston

Guilt, confusion, outrage. This is the instant mood progression I experience when I'm approached, unsolicited, in the street. Invariably, the intrusion into my deepest thoughts ("Shall I have a sandwich for dinner?") involves the thrust of a scruffy leaflet, the face of a chugger, a hand in search of change.

My immediate but silent reaction is "GET OUT OF MY FACE!" And yet the response I deliver is a flustered "Sorry, no".

Recently, I have wondered why I am apologising. This person has encroached on me – why do I feel rude if I deny their demand?

I have thought about ignoring them. But then, I suppose I am now shoving my views in your faces, dear readers. So perhaps I should just keep apologising.

Enjoli Liston is Deputy World Editor of The Independent

How to: Get upgraded on a flight

By Luke Blackall

The chance to turn left when boarding a plane is what everyone in economy wishes for. Make that chance and wish happen with these tips.

As most of the seat jiggery-pokery happens late in the day, some advise turning up late to busy flights. But this is equivalent to going 'all in' in the high stakes world of plane poker, as getting bumped off the flight happens late on, too.

Don't try to bullshit your way to an upgrade, unless you are really, really good at BS. And if you are good at talking the talk, then surely you would have already conned someone into paying you enough to afford the upgrade in the first place.

Staff want a peaceful flight. If you're flying with a friend, consider faking a non-violent argument before take-off, then claim to staff that he or she is bullying you and ask to be moved. Swap roles on the way back.

Instant ethics

By Ellen E Jones

Dear Ellen

Q. I have a table at a fancy restaurant for my birthday but only for six. What should I tell the rest of my friends?

A. Invite your five foodiest friends, then organise something arguably more fun for everyone else. This makes it less about establishing a friendship hierarchy and more about matching the activity to the person.

@MsEllen E Jones

PROMOTED VIDEO
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookPart of The Independent’s new eBook series The Great Composers
Arts and Entertainment
film
Arts and Entertainment
Preening: Johnny Depp in 'Mortdecai'
filmMortdecai becomes actor's fifth consecutive box office bomb
News
peopleWarning - contains a lot of swearing
Travel
travel
Arts and Entertainment
arts + ents
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs Gadgets & Tech

    Ashdown Group: Application Support Engineer with SQL skills

    £28000 per annum: Ashdown Group: A highly reputable business is looking to rec...

    Ashdown Group: Trainee / Graduate Helpdesk Analyst

    £20000 per annum: Ashdown Group: A highly reputable business is looking to rec...

    Ashdown Group: (PHP / Python) - Global Media firm - London

    £50000 per annum + 26 days holiday,pension: Ashdown Group: A highly successful...

    Recruitment Genius: Web Developer - ASP.Net, C#

    £28000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This business IT support compan...

    Day In a Page

    Syria crisis: Celebrities call on David Cameron to take more refugees as one young mother tells of torture by Assad regime

    Celebrities call on David Cameron to take more Syrian refugees

    One young mother tells of torture by Assad regime
    The enemy within: People who hear voices in their heads are being encouraged to talk back – with promising results

    The enemy within

    People who hear voices in their heads are being encouraged to talk back
    'In Auschwitz you got used to anything'

    'In Auschwitz you got used to anything'

    Survivors of the Nazi concentration camp remember its horror, 70 years on
    Autumn/winter menswear 2015: The uniforms that make up modern life come to the fore

    Autumn/winter menswear 2015

    The uniforms that make up modern life come to the fore
    'I'm gay, and plan to fight military homophobia'

    'I'm gay, and plan to fight military homophobia'

    Army general planning to come out
    Iraq invasion 2003: The bloody warnings six wise men gave to Tony Blair as he prepared to launch poorly planned campaign

    What the six wise men told Tony Blair

    Months before the invasion of Iraq in 2003, experts sought to warn the PM about his plans. Here, four of them recall that day
    25 years of The Independent on Sunday: The stories, the writers and the changes over the last quarter of a century

    25 years of The Independent on Sunday

    The stories, the writers and the changes over the last quarter of a century
    Homeless Veterans appeal: 'Really caring is a dangerous emotion in this kind of work'

    Homeless Veterans appeal

    As head of The Soldiers' Charity, Martin Rutledge has to temper compassion with realism. He tells Chris Green how his Army career prepared him
    Wu-Tang Clan and The Sexual Objects offer fans a chance to own the only copies of their latest albums

    Smash hit go under the hammer

    It's nice to pick up a new record once in a while, but the purchasers of two latest releases can go a step further - by buying the only copy
    Geeks who rocked the world: Documentary looks back at origins of the computer-games industry

    The geeks who rocked the world

    A new documentary looks back at origins of the computer-games industry
    Belle & Sebastian interview: Stuart Murdoch reveals how the band is taking a new direction

    Belle & Sebastian is taking a new direction

    Twenty years ago, Belle & Sebastian was a fey indie band from Glasgow. It still is – except today, as prime mover Stuart Murdoch admits, it has a global cult following, from Hollywood to South Korea
    America: Land of the free, home of the political dynasty

    America: Land of the free, home of the political dynasty

    These days in the US things are pretty much stuck where they are, both in politics and society at large, says Rupert Cornwell
    A graphic history of US civil rights – in comic book form

    A graphic history of US civil rights – in comic book form

    A veteran of the Fifties campaigns is inspiring a new generation of activists
    Winston Churchill: the enigma of a British hero

    Winston Churchill: the enigma of a British hero

    A C Benson called him 'a horrid little fellow', George Orwell would have shot him, but what a giant he seems now, says DJ Taylor
    Growing mussels: Precious freshwater shellfish are thriving in a unique green project

    Growing mussels

    Precious freshwater shellfish are thriving in a unique green project