Given how tech conferences can often feel a little self-congratulatory, even masturbatory, it is with great excitement that I report that this is a factually correct sentence:
Apple removed '50 gallon drum of lube' from WWDC 2015.
Sadly, this didn't mean CEO Tim Cook had a last minute change of heart and decided to go au naturel with his keynote, nor was this an abandoned viral stunt to dump it on the press in the audience.
The removal actually refers to the story of Cleveland Indians outfielder Brandon Moss hitting his 100th home run that Cook recalled at the event.
Moss' team issued him a joke ransom note after he struck the ball into their bullpen, demanding, amongst other Apple gadgets, an Apple Watch.
As The Verge spotted, the actual request by teammate Zep was for an 'Apple Watch / 50 gallon drum of lube', but Apple obviously wanted to keep the speech family friendly, or else not associate its latest product with a masturbation aide, removing the second half of the line.
Other highlights of the conference included a performance from The Weeknd and a speech from Drake, who confirmed that his new album will be coming out on Apple's new streaming service, Connect.Reuse content