Why iWant an Apple holiday

Apple's latest press conference confirmed one thing. Not that the corporation gives great shiny tech, nor that it has a way with pixels (well, could you fit 3.1 million of the blighters on to a product the size of a small tray?). Whatever, we knew all that.

Instead, Wednesday's whizz-bang iPad reveal showed the world that, if it chose to change tack away from ruling the world of consumer technology, Apple would organise the best holidays in the world.

Practically every feature of the pimped 'Pad was shown off using holiday snaps from heaven. There were sunny Costa Rican afternoons, happy children gambolling on pristine beaches with no sign of sunburn-related whingeing. Picturesque scenery. Skiing trips with only clear skies and perfect powder. Attractive holidaymakers everywhere with no provincial-tattoo-parlour inkings or Primarni outfits but very, very good hair. Cute, un-rabid animals. Boyfriends who were happy to give their girlfriends piggybacks on the beach without making pained faces or involuntarily "oof"-ing.

Hell, Apple even showed off a whole photo journal of backpackers in Cambodia (yah) that didn't make me want to punch any of the people pictured. iHolidays – I want one.