The FBI's list of internet slang is wonderfully, worryingly out of touch

Bureau has a 2,800 strong list of seldom-used internet acronyms

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The Independent Tech

As the Iraqi government's decision to shut down the internet proves, criminal activity online is a serious problem, but fortunately the FBI has its best men on the case.

With a sizable chunk of human interaction now taking place on social media, the bureau decided it needed to keep tabs on how people communicate using acronyms. You know, so they can assess the ties between terrorists and whether they're BFFLTDDUP (best friends for life until death do us part).

A heroic Freedom of Information Request by a user on MuckRock has bought this comprehensive, at times insanely esoteric, list entitled 'Twitter Shorthand' into the public domain, and it's full of classic internet acronyms like PMFJIB (Pardon me for jumping in, but) and BOGSAT (bunch of guys sitting around talking).

The document doesn't get off to a good start, stating how these terms are used across the internet including in "instant messages, Facebook and Myspace," (that hotbed of crime).

The list has some 2,800 entries, many of which have been tweeted less than 500 times and some literally never, here's a selection of the best:

'AYFKMWTS: Aare you f—— kidding me with this s—?'

'KMT: Kiss my teeth'

'PMIGBOM: Put mind in gear before opening mouth'

'BTWITIAILWY: By the way, I think I am in love with you'

'PMFJIB: Pardon me for jumping in, but '

'DITYID: Did I tell you I’m depressed?'

'NOOB or n00b: newbie (usually derogatory)'

'NFN: Normal for Norfolk (originally a derogatory term used by medical doctors in Norfolk and Norwich hospital in UK for intellectually challenged patients. Now may also mean something more endearing-like quaint) '

'KIRF: Keeping it real fake'

'JCAT: Category J mentally unstable person'

'BFFLTDDUP: Best friends for life until death do us part'

'BOGSAT: Bunch of guys sitting around talking'

'BTDTGTTSAWIO: Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out'

'DILLIGAD: Does it look like I give a damn?'

'E2EG: Ear-to-ear grin '

'GIWIST: Gee, I wish I said that'

'HCDAJFU: He could do a job for us'

'IAWTCSM: I agree with this comment so much'

'IITYWIMWYBMAD: If I tell you what it means will you buy me a drink?'

'LLTA: Lots and lots of thunderous applause'

'NIFOC: Naked in front of computer'

'PMYMHMMFSWGAD: Pardon me, you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn'

'SOMSW: Someone over my shoulder watching'

'YKWRGMG: You know what really grinds my gears?'

'WAPCE: Women are pure concentrated evil'