I was off my face: 1995 had come early They can pump you up or calm you down - like, totally. Two young users tell all
D I A R Y O F A P I L L P O P P E R Pop is 22 and comes from a village a few hours' drive from London. He is studying at law school and living in London with friends.

17 December 1994: With work just a vague memory, festivities began with a huge Junglist party at Wembley Conference Centre. I scored some cheap Es with my friends and took one of my six pills in the queue. Inside we were buzzing nicely but had none of the spine-chilling tingling "rushes" everyone else seemed to be enjoying. When you're buzzing you have a surge of energy and you know that you can keep dancing all night. Speed gives you this feeling. The feeling you're really after is the "rush", a feeling of overwhelming happiness and well being. A buzz will heighten your sensory perception in a club but when "rushing", jolts of electricity seem to shoot up and down your spine and you experience intense feelings of liberation and joy. A Dove [E/Ecstasy]gives you this unbelievable feeling.

A girl I'd known a few days was there and she asked me to look after her pills because she was wearing leggings. She seemed to be floating around and I couldn't resist swapping our sets of pills when she wasn't looking. After secretly munching her pills my mates watched in confusion as I sweated my way through lasers and flame throwers. I was totally mashed; Christmas had definitely come early.

Luton Grass Story: Went back to the village to spend the holiday with my family. Jay and I needed to score some puff. We called up an old dealer and ended up nervously negotiating with a man in his bedroom. He had transformed the other room in the flat into a plantation. Having made a deal we stayed for a few mind-scrambling joints of his home-grown stuff. After getting slightly caned we left, but not before he'd presented us with a female budding plant. He told us that this would be worth £200 in four weeks so we left quickly before he could change his mind.

The rush-hour traffic meant we had to wait ages to turn right at some poxy junction in the middle of Luton. While turning right we saw that another car was attempting to overtake another turning car and it was heading straight for us. We swerved on to the wrong side of the road in an attempt to avoid a crash. After coming to an abrupt halt I looked in the rear view to see cars skidding to avoid one another.

"Shit, Jay, you've caused an accident. We've got to stop," I shouted, thinking that we'd caused a crash.

"All right," he said, stepping out of the car. "Get rid of that plant before the police arrive."

My law career flashed before my eyes and I panicked and ripped the plant to bits in a frenzy. Jay returned and sat in the car: "Everyone's driven off, there's no accident. What did you do with the plant?"

The only consolation was the ounce of gear that we'd bought ... it made Christmas at home much more relaxed.

Christmas Tuesday was a nightmare spent mainly in my car. Eight hours in total including three hours on the M25 when we moved 20 miles. I was travelling with my girlfriend to Luton. I could feel her patience vanishing by the minute.

We finally arrived, scored some drugs and later hit a club. I knew I had to drive home that night so I restricted myself to one pill. While driving home I could see that Claudia was still buzzing and grinning. Watching her was turning me on beyond beliefso when we got home I did a line of speed and we rushed into bed. Our love-making ended in me having a 60-second orgasm during which my mind turned into a power circuit with bolts of electricity shooting through it.

New Year's Eve: We were off to a club and our speed for the night was arriving with a friend from some village in the middle of nowhere. To get a message that her car had got a flat was not ideal but when she turned up, a few hours late, she told us thather mum had found her stash and blown her stack. She had promised that she was not using herself and told her mum that the gear was already paid for in an effort to stop her calling the police. It was lucky that her mum couldn't see her at midnight withher eyes bursting out of her head and her tongue stuck down some bloke's throat! Our Charlie [cocaine] had fallen through, so I spent my spare money on more pills. It was the best day of the holidays. My body was yearning for sleep but my mind was tripping. About 6am we went to a mate's house in Streatham to chill with other friends. No one had had any sleep but we had a great time. I snorted a couple of lines to keep myself going but the best rush that morning came from a unexpected source. The England cricket team had finally wagged its tail in Australia to complete a perfect start to '95. My 17-hour sleep the next day gave me a similar feeling of bliss.