Dad's diary: 'I'm more blasé about the parental process second time around'

The eagle-eyed among you will have spotted thatmy byline picture that normally sits atop thiscolumn has been dramatically transformed. And no, dear reader, I haven't resorted to extreme anti-ageing botox coupled with a raw food diet – instead I am now the overjoyedfather of two gorgeous boys.

My eldest son Krishan (pictured above right, where my ugly mug usually sits) is now a proud big brother to baby Rohan. The snap was taken by a delighted dad the day after he was delivered, the first time that the two brothers met.

And, although in the traffic jam on the way back from the hospital, Krishan quietly confessed that he actually wanted a little sister (I blame Charlie and Lola), since then the two boys seem to be getting on better and better each day that passes.

It seems remarkable to both my partner and I that eight months have already flown by. And the contrast to the same period five years ago when Krishan was born is marked, too. Obviously we have been through the whole process once before – the meconium, random yelps, coughs and sniffles, the snuffling and fidgeting that keep you awake into the early hours – but time seems to have sped up immeasurably.

When Krishan was born, the initial eight months seemed to last forever. I remember being as wide eyed and helpless as the tiny, squeaking, bleary-eyed bundle who stared expectantly up at me.

It's natural, of course, to worry about everything as a first-time parent. And worry I did. Why was he making that funny noise in his cot? Why wasn't he making any noise in the cot? Is he drinking too much? Why wasn't he drinking enough? Second time around you are more in control, more measured, more relaxed and, I have to confess, definitely a tad more blasé about the whole parental process.

And, of course, we've had the elder sibling to deal with, too. When Krishan was a baby my partner and I made sure we tried to share all the duties from day one. Apart from the breast feeding, natch.

But second time around, with a boisterous four-year-old who'd just started in reception class, the line of demarcation was far more pronounced.

Basically my parental responsibilities for the past eight months have been centered around my eldest. So, rather than spend hours transfixedabsorbing every flick of Rohan's eyelids, every coo and cry and kick of his chubby, cute, little limbs, I have been dealing with son number one.

From the school run to the park, library to the shops,swimming lessons to children's parties, the months have flown past in a whirlwind of car journeys. Dad's taxi indeed.

And that's where it becomes tough once again. I have missed some of the early days bonding that I had with Krishan. I've also not been around to change nappies and deal with the constant screams of delight or angst (he has a remarkable set of lungs on him) that my partner has selflessly put up with morning, noon and night.

It's been an emotional time for everyone. And a joyful time too. Laughter, tears, tantrums and smiles.

Long may they continue.

Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookPart of The Independent’s new eBook series The Great Composers
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Cancer Research UK: Corporate Partnerships Volunteer Events Coordinator – London

    Voluntary: Cancer Research UK: We’re looking for someone to support our award ...

    Ashdown Group: Head of IT - Hertfordshire - £90,000

    £70000 - £90000 per annum + bonus + car allowance + benefits: Ashdown Group: H...

    Ashdown Group: Application Support Analyst - SQL Server, T-SQL

    £28000 - £32000 per annum + Excellent benefits: Ashdown Group: Application Sup...

    Ashdown Group: Systems Analyst / Data Analyst (SQL Server, T-SQL, data)

    £28000 - £32000 per annum + Excellent benefits: Ashdown Group: Systems Analyst...

    Day In a Page

    Major medical journal Lancet under attack for 'extremist hate propaganda' over its coverage of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict

    Lancet accused of 'anti-Israel hate propaganda' over coverage of Gaza conflict

    Threat to free speech as publishers of renowned medical journal are accused of inciting hatred and violence
    General Election 2015: Tories and Lib Dems throw their star names west to grab votes

    All noisy on the Lib Dems' western front

    The party has deployed its big guns in Cornwall to save its seats there. Simon Usborne heads to the heart of the battle
    How Etsy became a crafty little earner: The online market has been floated for £1.2bn, but can craft and capitalism coexist?

    How Etsy became a crafty little earner

    The online market has been floated for £1.2bn, but can craft and capitalism coexist?
    Guy Ritchie is the latest filmmaker to tackle King Arthur - one of our most versatile heroes

    King Arthur is inspiring Guy Ritchie

    Raluca Radulescu explains why his many permutations - from folk hero to chick-lit hunk - never cease to fascinate
    Apple Watch: Will it live up to expectations for the man or woman on the street?

    Apple Watch: Will it live up to expectations?

    The Apple Watch has apparently sold millions even before its launch tomorrow
    Don't fear the artichoke: it's a good cook's staple, with more choice than you'd think

    Don't fear the artichoke

    Artichokes are scary - they've got spikes and hairy bits, and British cooks tend to give them a wide berth. But they're an essential and delicious part of Italian cuisine
    11 best men's socks

    11 best men's socks

    Make a statement with your accessories, starting from the bottom up
    Paul Scholes column: Eden Hazard would be my Player of the Year – but I wonder if he has that appetite for goals of Messi or Ronaldo

    Paul Scholes column

    Hazard would be my Player of the Year – but I wonder if he has that appetite for goals of Messi or Ronaldo
    Frank Warren: Tyson Fury will be closely watching Wladimir Klitschko... when he wins it'll be time to do a deal

    Frank Warren's Ringside

    Tyson Fury will be closely watching Wladimir Klitschko... when he wins it'll be time to do a deal
    London Marathon 2015: Kenya's brothers in arms Wilson Kipsang and Dennis Kimetto ready to take on world

    Kenya's brothers in arms take on world

    Last year Wilson Kipsang had his marathon record taken off him by training partner and friend Dennis Kimetto. They talk about facing off in the London Marathon
    Natalie Bennett interview: I've lost track of the last time I saw my Dad but it's not because I refuse to fly

    Natalie Bennett interview: I've lost track of the last time I saw my Dad

    Green leader prefers to stay clear of her 'painful' family memories but is more open about 'utterly unreasonable' personal attacks
    Syria conflict: Khorasan return with a fresh influx of fighters awaiting the order to start 'shooting the birds'

    Khorasan is back in Syria

    America said these al-Qaeda militants were bombed out of the country last year - but Kim Sengupta hears a different story
    General Election 2015: Is William Cash the man to woo Warwickshire North for Ukip?

    On the campaign trail with Ukip

    Is William Cash the man to woo Warwickshire North?
    Four rival Robin Hood movies get Hollywood go-head - and Friar Tuck will become a superhero

    Expect a rush on men's tights

    Studios line up four Robin Hoods productions
    Peter Kay's Car Share: BBC show is the comedian's first TV sitcom in a decade

    In the driving seat: Peter Kay

    Car Share is the comedian's first TV sitcom in a decade. The programme's co-creator Paul Coleman reveals the challenges of getting the show on the road