Dad's diary: 'I'm more blasé about the parental process second time around'
Wednesday 20 June 2012
Related articles
The eagle-eyed among you will have spotted thatmy byline picture that normally sits atop thiscolumn has been dramatically transformed. And no, dear reader, I haven't resorted to extreme anti-ageing botox coupled with a raw food diet – instead I am now the overjoyedfather of two gorgeous boys.
My eldest son Krishan (pictured above right, where my ugly mug usually sits) is now a proud big brother to baby Rohan. The snap was taken by a delighted dad the day after he was delivered, the first time that the two brothers met.
And, although in the traffic jam on the way back from the hospital, Krishan quietly confessed that he actually wanted a little sister (I blame Charlie and Lola), since then the two boys seem to be getting on better and better each day that passes.
It seems remarkable to both my partner and I that eight months have already flown by. And the contrast to the same period five years ago when Krishan was born is marked, too. Obviously we have been through the whole process once before – the meconium, random yelps, coughs and sniffles, the snuffling and fidgeting that keep you awake into the early hours – but time seems to have sped up immeasurably.
When Krishan was born, the initial eight months seemed to last forever. I remember being as wide eyed and helpless as the tiny, squeaking, bleary-eyed bundle who stared expectantly up at me.
It's natural, of course, to worry about everything as a first-time parent. And worry I did. Why was he making that funny noise in his cot? Why wasn't he making any noise in the cot? Is he drinking too much? Why wasn't he drinking enough? Second time around you are more in control, more measured, more relaxed and, I have to confess, definitely a tad more blasé about the whole parental process.
And, of course, we've had the elder sibling to deal with, too. When Krishan was a baby my partner and I made sure we tried to share all the duties from day one. Apart from the breast feeding, natch.
But second time around, with a boisterous four-year-old who'd just started in reception class, the line of demarcation was far more pronounced.
Basically my parental responsibilities for the past eight months have been centered around my eldest. So, rather than spend hours transfixedabsorbing every flick of Rohan's eyelids, every coo and cry and kick of his chubby, cute, little limbs, I have been dealing with son number one.
From the school run to the park, library to the shops,swimming lessons to children's parties, the months have flown past in a whirlwind of car journeys. Dad's taxi indeed.
And that's where it becomes tough once again. I have missed some of the early days bonding that I had with Krishan. I've also not been around to change nappies and deal with the constant screams of delight or angst (he has a remarkable set of lungs on him) that my partner has selflessly put up with morning, noon and night.
It's been an emotional time for everyone. And a joyful time too. Laughter, tears, tantrums and smiles.
Long may they continue.
Life & Style blogs
London renters are getting poorer and moving further out
Plus, do energy saving measures boost house prices?
London Collections: Men – Sporting, suiting, and the great in-between
The spring menswear season has only just begun, but I've already started to get deep and meaningful....
- 1 Diary of Second World War German teenager reveals young lives untroubled by Nazi Holocaust in wartime Berlin
- 2 Breaking the Silence: In the reality of occupation, there are no Palestinian civilians – only potential terrorists
- 3 Uri Geller psychic spy? The spoon-bender's secret life as a Mossad and CIA agent revealed
- 4 Viral video straps colt .45 handgun to a home-use drone
- 5 Vice pulls 'breathtakingly tasteless' fashion shoot glorifying the suicides of famous female authors from Sylvia Plath to Virginia Woolf
Get your summer started with British Military Fitness
BMF is the UK’s biggest and best loved outdoor fitness classes
How will you make today delicious?
Tell us how you plan to make today delicious and you could win a £50 M&S gift card.
Learn a new language
Add another string to your bow with Rosetta Stone, whether it's Spanish, Italian or Mandarin...
Making reading fun for kids
Nook is donating eReaders to volunteers at high-need schools and participating in exclusive events throughout the campaign.
Introducing the 'Get Reading' campaign
Get the latest on The Evening Standard's campaign to get London's children reading.
Enter the latest Independent competitions
Win anything from gadgets to five-star holidays on our competitions and offers page.
Business videos from commercial thought leaders
Watch the best in the business world give their insights into the world of business.
iJobs General
Senior Electrical Engineering Consultant – Renewable Energy Grid Connections.
Negotiable Depending on Experience: The Green Recruitment Company: The Green R...
BREEAM Consultant
£25000 - £30000 Per Annum: The Green Recruitment Company: The Green Recruitmen...
Design Engineer - ProE, Hand Calcs
Negotiable: Progressive Recruitment: Dear Sumadhab, A growing engineering comp...
Year 6 Teacher / Year Group Leader
Negotiable: Randstad Education Ilford: We are currently recruiting for a Year ...
First night: The Cripple of Inishmaan
Scandi-geeks descend on Nordicana for fan-convention
Female aristocrats battle to inherit the title




