Dad's diary: 'I'm more blasé about the parental process second time around'

The eagle-eyed among you will have spotted thatmy byline picture that normally sits atop thiscolumn has been dramatically transformed. And no, dear reader, I haven't resorted to extreme anti-ageing botox coupled with a raw food diet – instead I am now the overjoyedfather of two gorgeous boys.

My eldest son Krishan (pictured above right, where my ugly mug usually sits) is now a proud big brother to baby Rohan. The snap was taken by a delighted dad the day after he was delivered, the first time that the two brothers met.

And, although in the traffic jam on the way back from the hospital, Krishan quietly confessed that he actually wanted a little sister (I blame Charlie and Lola), since then the two boys seem to be getting on better and better each day that passes.

It seems remarkable to both my partner and I that eight months have already flown by. And the contrast to the same period five years ago when Krishan was born is marked, too. Obviously we have been through the whole process once before – the meconium, random yelps, coughs and sniffles, the snuffling and fidgeting that keep you awake into the early hours – but time seems to have sped up immeasurably.

When Krishan was born, the initial eight months seemed to last forever. I remember being as wide eyed and helpless as the tiny, squeaking, bleary-eyed bundle who stared expectantly up at me.

It's natural, of course, to worry about everything as a first-time parent. And worry I did. Why was he making that funny noise in his cot? Why wasn't he making any noise in the cot? Is he drinking too much? Why wasn't he drinking enough? Second time around you are more in control, more measured, more relaxed and, I have to confess, definitely a tad more blasé about the whole parental process.

And, of course, we've had the elder sibling to deal with, too. When Krishan was a baby my partner and I made sure we tried to share all the duties from day one. Apart from the breast feeding, natch.

But second time around, with a boisterous four-year-old who'd just started in reception class, the line of demarcation was far more pronounced.

Basically my parental responsibilities for the past eight months have been centered around my eldest. So, rather than spend hours transfixedabsorbing every flick of Rohan's eyelids, every coo and cry and kick of his chubby, cute, little limbs, I have been dealing with son number one.

From the school run to the park, library to the shops,swimming lessons to children's parties, the months have flown past in a whirlwind of car journeys. Dad's taxi indeed.

And that's where it becomes tough once again. I have missed some of the early days bonding that I had with Krishan. I've also not been around to change nappies and deal with the constant screams of delight or angst (he has a remarkable set of lungs on him) that my partner has selflessly put up with morning, noon and night.

It's been an emotional time for everyone. And a joyful time too. Laughter, tears, tantrums and smiles.

Long may they continue.

PROMOTED VIDEO
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookPart of The Independent’s new eBook series The Great Composers
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Ashdown Group: Marketing & Sales Manager

    £40000 per annum: Ashdown Group: A reputable organisation within the leisure i...

    Tradewind Recruitment: Science Teacher

    £90 - £140 per day: Tradewind Recruitment: I am currently working in partnersh...

    Recruitment Genius: Doctors - Dubai - High "Tax Free" Earnings

    £96000 - £200000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Looking for a better earning p...

    Recruitment Genius: PHP Developer

    £32000 - £36000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A rapidly expanding company in ...

    Day In a Page

    Isis hostage crisis: The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power

    Isis hostage crisis

    The prisoner swap has only one purpose for the militants - recognition its Islamic State exists and that foreign nations acknowledge its power, says Robert Fisk
    Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

    Homeless Veterans appeal: ‘If you’re hard on the world you are hard on yourself’

    Maverick artist Grayson Perry backs our campaign
    Missing salvage expert who found $50m of sunken treasure before disappearing, tracked down at last

    The runaway buccaneers and the ship full of gold

    Salvage expert Tommy Thompson found sunken treasure worth millions. Then he vanished... until now
    Assisted Dying Bill: I want to be able to decide about my own death - I want to have control of my life

    Assisted Dying Bill: 'I want control of my life'

    This week the Assisted Dying Bill is debated in the Lords. Virginia Ironside, who has already made plans for her own self-deliverance, argues that it's time we allowed people a humane, compassionate death
    Move over, kale - cabbage is the new rising star

    Cabbage is king again

    Sophie Morris banishes thoughts of soggy school dinners and turns over a new leaf
    11 best winter skin treats

    Give your moisturiser a helping hand: 11 best winter skin treats

    Get an extra boost of nourishment from one of these hard-working products
    Paul Scholes column: The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him

    Paul Scholes column

    The more Jose Mourinho attempts to influence match officials, the more they are likely to ignore him
    Frank Warren column: No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans

    Frank Warren's Ringside

    No cigar, but pots of money: here come the Cubans
    Isis hostage crisis: Militant group stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

    Isis stands strong as its numerous enemies fail to find a common plan to defeat it

    The jihadis are being squeezed militarily and economically, but there is no sign of an implosion, says Patrick Cockburn
    Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action

    Virtual reality: Seeing is believing

    Virtual reality thrusts viewers into the frontline of global events - and puts film-goers at the heart of the action
    Homeless Veterans appeal: MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’

    Homeless Veterans appeal

    MP says Coalition ‘not doing enough’ to help
    Larry David, Steve Coogan and other comedians share stories of depression in new documentary

    Comedians share stories of depression

    The director of the new documentary, Kevin Pollak, tells Jessica Barrett how he got them to talk
    Has The Archers lost the plot with it's spicy storylines?

    Has The Archers lost the plot?

    A growing number of listeners are voicing their discontent over the rural soap's spicy storylines; so loudly that even the BBC's director-general seems worried, says Simon Kelner
    English Heritage adds 14 post-war office buildings to its protected lists

    14 office buildings added to protected lists

    Christopher Beanland explores the underrated appeal of these palaces of pen-pushing
    Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

    Human skull discovery in Israel proves humans lived side-by-side with Neanderthals

    Scientists unearthed the cranial fragments from Manot Cave in West Galilee