Are you as young as you feel or as old as you look?
Few thirtysomethings get taken for 17-year-olds, but it's not just appearances that hold the clues to youth
Sunday 23 June 2013
A 34-year-old politician was refused a beer last week, as the barman thought she looked underage. Ruth Davidson, leader of the Scottish Conservatives, was thrilled to be mistaken for a 17-year-old at a gig. "Show me a woman who wouldn't be delighted," she said afterwards.
One tell-tale sign that should have given him a clue was that this was a Bruce Springsteen gig. Not many teenagers there then. But it was a rare boost for thirtysomethings, especially in the week when it emerged that feeding birds and listening to The Archers are signs you're getting old. So, using rigorous scientific research, we identify the 25 signs that tell you you're still young. Or trying to be. LOL.
1. You don't punctuate
2. You have a Vimeo account
3. You don't use email
4. You have been pwned*
5. You've never heard of Timmy Mallett
6. You've had a bread sandwich**
7. You can't conceive of a time before mobiles
8. You have said yolo***
9. You've never bought a CD
10. You think Prince William is heir to the throne
11. You don't see any point in having a driving licence
12. You choose to listen to vinyl
13. You've never had a bath
14. You know the lyrics to what's at No 1
15. You think 2009 is a long time ago
16. You don't know what an Opal Fruit is
17. You've never worn a watch
18. You don't know your friends' surnames
19. You've never been to the cinema
20. Your passport photo is a selfie
21. You've never owned a camera
22. Your favourite meal is wing roulette**** at Nando's
23. You've never used a payphone
24. You don't have a job
25. You lost your phone this week
*From the game Warcraft, the term is used when a player is beaten by the computer. It should say "owned" but the computer programmer mis-spelt it
**Two slices of bread with a slice of buttered toast as the filling
***You only live once
****A platter of chicken wings in various degrees of spiciness
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