Life support: How to make other people like you

Smile

Humans are quite simple creatures, and if you smile a lot, others will think you're nice. Even if you're not. Being in a perpetual grump won't, usually, make people find you dark and mysterious. They'll just never invite you out for lunch.

Be enthusiastic

Nothing is more dreary or unattractive than constant negativity. If you think something is rubbish, keep it quiet, but if you like something, make a feature of it.

Make eye contact

The secret to George Clooney's charm is that he makes everyone feel like they're the most important person in the room, and he does that by looking people right in the eye. If that's all a bit intense, look at the spot between their eyebrows – it has the same effect.

Ask questions

Everyone loves talking about themselves. Exploit this by asking people how they are and what they think. Don't get too personal, though. "What do you think of the new Facebook layout?", is preferable to, "So, did he dump you?"

Remember people's names...

If you find it hard to remember names, try repeating them at an introduction, ie: "Wendy, so nice to meet you." If you still end up calling everyone Emma, try mentally attaching a picture to the name. So, if you say "Wendy" and visualise Peter Pan, you're more likely to remember the name.

...But don't repeat them too much

"Hello Wendy, how nice to see you again", or "Wendy, what can I get you to drink?" is winning. "You see, Wendy, the thing is..." is often misinterpreted as hectoring.

Be nice about

other people

Sometimes, nothing is better than a bit of character assassination, but do it indiscriminately and everyone will assume that you say horrid things about them, too.

Help out

Often, people don't offer help because they think it's not their place; and a lot of people don't ask for help because they think it's an imposition. The result? A lot of unhappy people! Don't be too shy to say, "Do you need a hand?"

Let it go

If someone expresses a ludicrous opinion, unless it affects your wellbeing directly, don't waste your breath contradicting them. You're unlikely to change their mind. Smile and say nothing, and they'll think you're marvellous.

Esther Walker