The process of giving birth is known for many things; the length of time it can take, the extreme pain it can cause a mother, and, at the end of it, the bundle of joy it produces.
But it has also been known to produce some hilarious and somewhat colourful comments from parents to be, as a poster on the social forum Reddit found out.
In an Ask Reddit session, doctors and nurses who deliver babies were asked: “What are some strange/funny things people have screamed while giving birth?”
Thousands of people responded with extremely amusing personal experiences. Here are some of the top entries:
"When my brother was born, they had to use forceps to get him out. My mom saw them and screamed ‘THOSE ARE SALAD TONGS! YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ANY GODDAMN KITCHENWARE IN THERE!’"
'You should really go out with him'
“During one of the births [my roommate] was helping out in, the mom and the dad were separated but still good friends. So while this woman is pushing out her baby she begins to half tell/half scream that my roommate should date her ex - the baby daddy. The conversation went something like this:
“Mom: You should really....(screams in pain)....go out with....(Screams again) him sometime. He's really fun.
“Dad: I wouldn't mind some drinks sometime, what are you doing this evening?”
'You have no idea'
“When my sister was in labour, she was screaming and our mom was trying to be comforting: "It'll be OK. Take some deep breaths. It'll be over soon."
“Then my sister looks up at our mom and says ‘You have no idea what this is like.’”
'F*** this, I’m going home'
“Patient fully dialated, started pushing, then changed her mind. "I don't wanna do this, I'm going the f*** home." And then tried to get off the table.”
“When my aunt was giving birth, she was all jokes. Very angry jokes, but jokes none-the-less.
“’KNOCK-KNOCK! WHO'S THERE?! THE BABY! NOT YET!’”
'I’m lady Darth Vader!'
“My husband told me when I was breathing the laughing gas I screamed "I'm lady Darth Vader!" as I was pushing. Then I asked the doctor if he felt my tonsils when he had his arm up there.”
'I’m gonna set everyone on fire'
“After a long contraction, I said quietly "I'm gonna set everyone in this room on fire." Everyone laughed, including the nurse, but I think my devoutly Christian mother-in-law started to cry.”
'That's how we got into this mess'
"EMT who did a birth on the side of the road. Woman shouted "f*** me!" during a contraction, and the husband casually replied, "That's how we got into this mess, dammit!"
"I had a very hard time containing myself."
'She doesn’t have a face!'
“When I was born, my dad didn't know that babies are usually born face down, and as I was coming out he screams: ‘OH MY GOD SHE DOESN'T HAVE A FACE’.”