Health: 'We now make love twice a week or more'

Thousands of impotent men are suffering in silence. Ted Dickens decided to speak out about why it is worth getting help

IMPOTENCE - now there's a subject. Rarely discussed easily with anyone, but a sure attention-grabber at a comedy show.

My own awareness of this problem crept up on me slowly. Making love was not always a guaranteed event, but as I had some time ago passed my 60th birthday milestone, I became philosophical about it.

In my late sixties, I had an operation on my prostate gland which had become enlarged. Despite whispers that it would put a stop to lovemaking, it did not.

But the occasional difficulty in having an erection did still occur. So when a TV film was shown discussing erection problems in detail, I recorded the transmission against a possible future personal need for reference.

Four years on and my impotency was an established condition. Whenever we were feeling intimate, I would have an incipient erection, but even this subsided soon after entry, forcing me to abandon the act.

My wife, Erna, was understanding but nevertheless disappointed although she made light of the matter. I, on the other hand, felt a true failure, made worse by the knowledge that it was not going to improve. Our sex life had come to an end, through what I felt was purely my failure.

We have always had a very loving relationship, and were always, cuddling, and kissing, but now I felt guilty that I could not fulfil what was really "fore-play".

I feared that we would grow away from each other, a depressing thought that intruded more and more into my life. I felt that old age had taken me down a peg and I lost some confidence.

At this stage, Erna and I talked about the situation and decided that we should make arrangements for a consultation with a specialist to discuss implementation of one of the treatments we remembered from the television documentary.

My local doctor, a woman, with whom I had discussed my problem, was most helpful and assisted with an appointment to see a specialist.

During our consultation I explained that my wife and I had discussed the treatments highlighted in the documentary, and agreed that a penile prosthesis would seem to offer the best solution in my case. We also had a friend who had an implant, so had ample knowledge.

He agreed, and a date was made for me to undergo surgery. The eventual operation went very smoothly and with no discomfort whatsoever, in spite of my worries about this. Twenty-four hours after arriving at the hospital I was back on the train for home, and five weeks of convalescence.

The semi-rigid rod type of implant was my own preference, and Erna and I are very happy with that choice. It has ensured that whenever we make love, penetration is easy and lasting, guaranteeing that my wife always will have one or more orgasms.

An added bonus has been an apparent return of some of the erection mechanism. If this is true, it must be due to the confidence we now have of successful sex every time. We now make love a minimum of once a week but usually twice or more.

Erna and I are now, after two years with the implant, relaxed, and in a general way very happy, although why, is not widely known. Our friends comment on what a happy loving couple we are. Truly our relationship is perfect.

For both of us our new sex life has made a big difference, and we are writing this account in the hope that it may encourage others, to follow our example.

As an "over-70s" couple, when most of our contemporaries seem to have resigned themselves to "being past it", we are on a permanent honeymoon.

If you are considering this sort of treatment, then, as my doctor said: "Go for It!"

Suggested Topics
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookA delicious collection of 50 meaty main courses
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

SPONSORED FEATURES

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Sales Executive or Senior Sales Executive - B2B Exhibitions

    £18000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Sales Executive or Senior Sal...

    Recruitment Genius: Head of Support Services

    £40000 - £55000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

    Recruitment Genius: Warehouse Team Leader

    £22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This industry leading company produces h...

    Recruitment Genius: Business Development Manager / Sales - OTE £40,000

    £20000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This IT provider for the educat...

    Day In a Page

    A nap a day could save your life - and here's why

    A nap a day could save your life

    A midday nap is 'associated with reduced blood pressure'
    If men are so obsessed by sex, why do they clam up when confronted with the grisly realities?

    If men are so obsessed by sex...

    ...why do they clam up when confronted with the grisly realities?
    The comedy titans of Avalon on their attempt to save BBC3

    Jon Thoday and Richard Allen-Turner

    The comedy titans of Avalon on their attempt to save BBC3
    The bathing machine is back... but with a difference

    Rolling in the deep

    The bathing machine is back but with a difference
    Part-privatised tests, new age limits, driverless cars: Tories plot motoring revolution

    Conservatives plot a motoring revolution

    Draft report reveals biggest reform to regulations since driving test introduced in 1935
    The Silk Roads that trace civilisation: Long before the West rose to power, Asian pathways were connecting peoples and places

    The Silk Roads that trace civilisation

    Long before the West rose to power, Asian pathways were connecting peoples and places
    House of Lords: Outcry as donors, fixers and MPs caught up in expenses scandal are ennobled

    The honours that shame Britain

    Outcry as donors, fixers and MPs caught up in expenses scandal are ennobled
    When it comes to street harassment, we need to talk about race

    'When it comes to street harassment, we need to talk about race'

    Why are black men living the stereotypes and why are we letting them get away with it?
    International Tap Festival: Forget Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers - this dancing is improvised, spontaneous and rhythmic

    International Tap Festival comes to the UK

    Forget Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers - this dancing is improvised, spontaneous and rhythmic
    War with Isis: Is Turkey's buffer zone in Syria a matter of self-defence – or just anti-Kurd?

    Turkey's buffer zone in Syria: self-defence – or just anti-Kurd?

    Ankara accused of exacerbating racial division by allowing Turkmen minority to cross the border
    Doris Lessing: Acclaimed novelist was kept under MI5 observation for 18 years, newly released papers show

    'A subversive brothel keeper and Communist'

    Acclaimed novelist Doris Lessing was kept under MI5 observation for 18 years, newly released papers show
    Big Blue Live: BBC's Springwatch offshoot swaps back gardens for California's Monterey Bay

    BBC heads to the Californian coast

    The Big Blue Live crew is preparing for the first of three episodes on Sunday night, filming from boats, planes and an aquarium studio
    Austin Bidwell: The Victorian fraudster who shook the Bank of England with the most daring forgery the world had known

    Victorian fraudster who shook the Bank of England

    Conman Austin Bidwell. was a heartless cad who carried out the most daring forgery the world had known
    Car hacking scandal: Security designed to stop thieves hot-wiring almost every modern motor has been cracked

    Car hacking scandal

    Security designed to stop thieves hot-wiring almost every modern motor has been cracked
    10 best placemats

    Take your seat: 10 best placemats

    Protect your table and dine in style with a bold new accessory