How much do you know about Camille?
Take cover. The American feminist the world loves to hate has a new book out. Here's your chance to get to grips with the vital subject of la Paglia the ego
Friday 31 March 1995
(a)calling her (female) professor "little Miss Frigid" at a graduate open-day
(b)revealing her breasts during a lecture
(c)picking a fight with a student
2.What objects does she always carry with her?
3.What or who is the greatest love of her life?
(b)Sophia Loren ("another Italian big mouth")
(c)study and learning
4.What is her greatest regret?
(a)never seeing Jimi Hendrix in concert
(b)not achieving a career as a champion bullfighter
(c)not being born a man
5.What is her motto?
(a)"Love me, love my sexual persona"
(b)"Death to middle-class feminists"
(c) "I came, I saw, I conquered"
6.Which of the following statements did Camille Paglia not make?
(a)"The penis is the ultimate symbol of real feminist liberation for the 21st century."
(b)"You want proof I'm sexually liberated? Come to Philadelphia and gang-rape me!"
(c)"I wanted those stupid bitches at Yale to know that the press has seen me accurately as a world-class intellectual!"
7.How tall is she?
8.How long is the "media chronicle" at the end of Vamps and Tramps?
9.What does she call herself?
(a)A "radical Sixties activist libertarian"
(b)A "pro-sex 21st-century ultravixen"
(c)A "Latin-Amazonian sex goddess"
10.What is her idea of perfect happiness?
(a)snogging Madonna on prime-time television
(b)watching "All About Eve" with an audience of gay men
(c)having a knife-fight with Naomi Wolf
11.With whom does Camille Paglia most identify?
12.What makes her most depressed?
(b)the rubbish in the contemporary feminist mind
(c)dying without seducing Cindy Crawford
13. What are her views on date rape?
a) "Rape is every woman's fantasy"
b) "If rape is a totally devastating psychological experience for a woman then she doesn't have a proper attitude towards sex"
c) "The male phallus is a tower that overshadows our daily lives"
14. What did the young Paglia cry out when she fell over and hurt her knee?
a) "Ouch! Ouch! My knee"
b) "My patella! My patella!"
c) "I'm on my knees now but one day mankind will be grovelling at my feet"
15. With which comment did she encourage women architects?
a) "If civilisation had been left to women, we'd all still be living in grass huts"
b) "Without a penis you cannot even conceive of a skyscraper"
c) "Instinctive, sensitive, visionary women are the world's natural architects"
One point for each correct answer, as follows:
1 (c); 2 (b); 3 (c); 4 (a); 5 (c); 6 (b); 7 (a); 8 (b); 9 (a); 10 (b); 11 (a); 12 (b); 13 (b); 14 (b); 15 (a)
Ten or more correct answers: Bravo! But have you committed the "media chronicle" to memory?
Between five and nine correct answers: Could do better. Sign up for the next available Camille Paglia night class.
Four or fewer correct answers: As la Paglia once said of Naomi Wolf, "parent-pleasing, teacher-pleasing little kiss-ass"! You're a lost cause.
`Vamps and Tramps', Viking, £17
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