How should Fergie earn some money?

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Indy Lifestyle Online
NIGELLA LAWSON, journalist: Telephone sex.

VICTORIA GILLICK, family rights campaigner: She could do lots of things. But please, please, no more of those awful Budgie books. She was brought into this world to depress art.

MARJORIE PROOPS, agony aunt: Why doesn't she get a proper job instead of mooching around? Fergie is a spoilt brat who has never lived in the real world. The only thing I think she could do is train to become a beauty therapist. She's attractive, but she's not so beautiful that she would be threatening. She could earn a lot of dosh from commission on the products she sells.

JOHNNY VAUGH, TV presenter: Fergie should launch a magazine called Goodbye! It's a magazine for all the celebrities that no one ever wants to see again and that would be guaranteed. The last shot should be the celebrity performing hara-kiri. Fergie ought to be in the first issue.

PETER YORK, style guru: I do think she's doing quite well. However, if things got desperate she could always put her daughters on the stage.

REBECCA FRIEDRICH, interior design student: She needs a direction, poor woman. She's not really trained to do anything. She should go on a Back to Work training scheme and get some career counselling. And give up writing awful books.

BETTY ADAMS, psychic: Go back to her husband. I do like her. She's the only one of the royals with a bit of life, but I don't think she will make it financially, or otherwise, on her own. She thinks she's independent but she's not really. I feel this on a psychic, spiritual and logical level.

DAVID PHILLIPS, financial advisor: I very much doubt she would be good enough at anything to make enough money. I wouldn't recommend this line of business for her, as we have too many forms to fill in.

SARAH ANTICONI, solicitor: She needs to cut down on expenditure. Send the children out to work. Up the chimney and down the mines.

NICK WILLIAMS, film runner: She could become a ski instructor. She spends so much time on ski-ing holidays she ought to be an expert by now.

LIZ DAFFEY, chiropodist: She's flogging just about everything isn't she? I think she really ought to retrain and do a reflexology course. She could spend the day with me and see some really revolting toes - ones she wouldn't want to go near.

LESLIE ANDERSON, accountant: If things got difficult on skid row she could make an exercise-and-diet video.