i wish they would ...
Thursday 01 January 1998
I will lose some of those excess pounds - Geoffrey Robinson
I will not leave the table before everyone else has finished - Gerry Adams
I will keep a diary every day
- Alan Clark
I will wear the same shirt for more than one week running
- Manchester United players
I will stop making such a song and dance out of trivial things
- Lord Lloyd-Webber
I will stop parking in disabled parking spaces - Harriet Harman
I will stop being horrible to the cat
- Cherie Booth
I will stop picking my nose (from mail-order catalogues)
- Michael Jackson
I will take up a sport of some kind
- Tottenham Hotspur football team
I will finally get around to putting those shelves up
- head builder, British Library restoration project
I will try to get out more
- anonymous INLA member, speaking from top security jail
I will try to get out less
- Mike Atherton
I will be more decisive. Perhaps
- Paddy Ashdown
I will learn to drive - Damon Hill
I will spend more time away from the TV - Richard and Judy
I will stop finishing other people's sentences
- Judge Hiller Zobel
I will buy at least one mind-expanding book - David Blunkett's commitment to 1998 education funding
I will behave more like an individual - memo: from Peter Mandelson, to: all Whitehall personnel, re: New Year's Resolutions (urgent)
I will stop treating people with sarcasm - yeah RIGHT - Jeremy Paxman
I will start acting my age
- Joan Collins, accepting a part in 'Return of the Living Dead'
I will give more time to the kids
- Jack Straw, on sentencing plans for young offenders
If I win the lottery I will not let it change my lifestyle
- Richard Branson
I will give more money to good causes - Chris Smith, Heritage Secretary
I will completely cut out red meat
- Jack Cunningham
I will try to make my demands clear - the Inland Revenue
I will stop talking on the job
- Chris Evans
I will have a good spring-clean
- ethnic-cleansing groups in Afghanistan
I will stop interfering with other people's business - Bill Gates
I will not shout at people
- The Rev Ian Paisley
I will conquer my fear of appearing in public - Channel Five
Life & Style blogs
Climate change: 2015 will be the hottest year on record 'by a mile', experts say
'Women only' train carriages: Jeremy Corbyn unveils radical move to tackle public harassment
Black holes are a passage to another universe, says Stephen Hawking
Tony Blair attacks Jeremy Corbyn's 'Alice In Wonderland' politics
Theresa May says migrants should be banned from entering the UK unless they have jobs lined up
Iain Duncan Smith 'should resign over disability benefit death figures', says Jeremy Corbyn
- 1 A daily walk 'can add seven years to your life'
- 2 Rules on 5p plastic bags likely to lead to arguments at the check-out
- 3 Chrissie Hynde says women who 'wear high heels and dress provocatively entice rapists'
- 4 Blood Moon and Supermoon: September to bring brightest – and dimmest – full Moon of the year on same night
- 5 News agency criticised for describing Amal Clooney as 'actor's wife' in coverage of human rights trial
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