When your partner does get up, he burns the toast.
Your toaster is rectangular, square, dirty, boring, and ugly.
Your pop tarts and toasties stick to the machine.
The toast is either virgin white or charcoal black. And you wake up every morning by electrocuting yourself fishing for the crumbled toast.
You're looking for something sexy, curvy, colourful. Something you control to the nearest minute.
Something morning-friendly, elegant, imposing, constant, reliable. Something that always smells good, that asks no questions, that delivers the goods and beats the competition.
You're looking for the Dualit Combi toaster, a classic piece of engineering in which at some point bread magically becomes toast. Next to the kettle, this stainless steel toast factory will dominate any kitchen. Guests at your dinner party meandering into the kitchen will pause by the toaster, its sleek sexual line combined with raw industrial power highlighting their inadequacy as they stall in a drunken kitchen seduction scenario. Give yourself the power to control.
Dualit Toasters from pounds 139.95 in stainless steel, white, cream, black or bright yellow, at Divertimenti stores on the Fulham Road (0171-581 8065) or on Wigmore Street W1 (0171-935 0689).