Life doctor

ARE YOU in control? It is highly prized in the nervous Nineties. We don't know what's going to happen next. Our millennium bug fears have highlighted how precarious our control of life really is.

"There is a theory," says Dr Eamonn Ferguson, senior lecturer in psychology at Nottingham University, "that we are driven to want a sense of coherence because it allows us to make sense of life - so depressed people who feel they are out of control actually have a better understanding of reality." In other words you may be miserable but at least you're not fooling yourself.

The sensation of lost control, a common symptom of depression, can be biological. The feeling that you are one step away from taking all your clothes off on Kings Cross Station is chemical. Low sense of control is linked to low levels of cortisol in the brain. So even feeling out of control is not a personal choice.

The non-depressed feel a whole lot happier thinking everything is under control. Armageddon (new on video) is all about America's happy delusion on this. When the meteorite is about to wipe out civilisation the other silly nations resort to praying before temples but America is kept informed by TV. The message: it may be Armageddon but we're not cancelling Oprah.

So, God and rubbish films - all a symptom of our innate need for order. We can't cope with the terrifying reality. I'm not being superior here. I may not like Bruce Willis but I'm Catholic and Jewish, for God's sake. Talk about trying to cover yourself.

Funnily enough, the people who are sure everything is under control tend to be the same people who tell you "try living in the real world". By which they mean "be like me because I can't cope with any other reality". Which is out of control.

But a certain feeling that we have influence over our life is healthy. A famous mid-Nineties study of 3,000 civil servants found that levels of stress and high blood pressure were higher among low-level employees than the high-level decision makers who were supposedly in more stressful jobs.

"It is better," says Fiona Jones, principal lecturer in psychology at the University of Hertfordshire, "to have an internal focus of control, rather than an external focus, or learned helplessness where you believe fate decides everything and there's nothing you can do. New technology is a good example. It can make you feel more in control or more useless, depending on your viewpoint."

So being in control means you flourish whatever comes your way. Remember Aesop (or was it Bagpuss?) who told the story of the mighty tree and the reed? The tree stands unflinching and laughs at the bendy reed. But who weathers the storm? Why, the reed who thrives in the buffeting wind. The tree falls down and soon has mushrooms sprouting from his feet.

Control Advice from Roy Sheppard, author of Your Personal Guide to the 21st Century:

1. People's main complaint is lack of time. Accept that you will never have time for everything. Focus on what is truly important rather than what is urgent.

2. Set goals. Focusing on what you want gives the best results. Many people don't set goals for fear of failure. But your goals can change over time.

3. Question your desire for inappropriate control in relationships. At home or work, do you insist that things have to be done "your way"? You are more likely to flourish if you can learn from other people.

4. Be open to change. It will happen anyway so you might as well enjoy it. Trite though it is, losing one job can lead to a better one.

Roy Sheppard's 'Your Personal Guide to the 21st Century' (Centre) is available at all good bookshops, pounds 12.95. 'Armageddon' is now available at video shop.

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookA delicious collection of 50 meaty main courses
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Partner Manager - EMEA

    £50000 - £100000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Partner Manager is required ...

    Recruitment Genius: Regional Sales Manager - OTE £100,000

    £45000 - £100000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Regional Sales Manager is re...

    Recruitment Genius: IT Support Engineer

    £18000 - £22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: The company provides IT support...

    Recruitment Genius: IT Manager

    £45000 - £55000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This manager is for a successfu...

    Day In a Page

    Sepp Blatter resignation: The beginning of Fifa's long road to reform?

    Does Blatter's departure mean Fifa will automatically clean up its act?

    Don't bet on it, says Tom Peck
    Charles Kennedy: The baby of the House who grew into a Lib Dem giant

    The baby of the House who grew into a Lib Dem giant

    Charles Kennedy was consistently a man of the centre-left, dedicated to social justice, but was also a champion of liberty and an opponent of the nanny-state, says Baroness Williams
    Syria civil war: The harrowing testament of a five-year-old victim of this endless conflict

    The harrowing testament of a five-year-old victim of Syria's endless civil war

    Sahar Qanbar lost her mother and brother as civilians and government soldiers fought side by side after being surrounded by brutal Islamist fighters. Robert Fisk visited her
    The future of songwriting: How streaming is changing everything we know about making music

    The future of songwriting

    How streaming is changing everything we know about making music
    William Shemin and Henry Johnson: Jewish and black soldiers receive World War I Medal of Honor amid claims of discrimination

    Recognition at long last

    Jewish and black soldiers who fought in WWI finally receive medals after claims of discrimination
    Beating obesity: The new pacemaker which helps over-eaters

    Beating obesity

    The new pacemaker which helps over-eaters
    9 best women's festival waterproofs

    Ready for rain: 9 best women's festival waterproofs

    These are the macs to keep your denim dry and your hair frizz-free(ish)
    Cycling World Hour Record: Nervous Sir Bradley Wiggins ready for pain as he prepares to go distance

    Wiggins worried

    Nervous Sir Bradley ready for pain as he prepares to attempt cycling's World Hour Record
    Liverpool close in on Milner signing

    Liverpool close in on Milner signing

    Reds baulk at Christian Benteke £32.5m release clause
    On your feet! Spending at least two hours a day standing reduces the risk of heart attacks, cancer and diabetes, according to new research

    On your feet!

    Spending half the day standing 'reduces risk of heart attacks and cancer'
    With scores of surgeries closing, what hope is there for the David Cameron's promise of 5,000 more GPs and a 24/7 NHS?

    The big NHS question

    Why are there so few new GPs when so many want to study medicine?
    Big knickers are back: Thongs ain't what they used to be

    Thongs ain't what they used to be

    Big knickers are back
    Thurston Moore interview

    Thurston Moore interview

    On living in London, Sonic Youth and musical memoirs
    In full bloom

    In full bloom

    Floral print womenswear
    From leading man to Elephant Man, Bradley Cooper is terrific

    From leading man to Elephant Man

    Bradley Cooper is terrific