Sexual fetish laid bare

To ‘fetishise’ is to attribute special power to an object of personal fixation, for the goal of achieving a desired mental, emotional or spiritual state of being.

Unsurprisingly, the original meaning of fetish belongs in the lexicon of the church and is usually ascribed to the potency of religious icons believed to deliver healing and atonement. But, when people talk about ‘fetish’ today, they are often referring to lifestyle choices beyond faith where personal habits are often born out of secular concerns such fashion and experimental (and often whacky) sex. Here, objects of fixation often hold personal meaning and sexual importance – be it a high heeled shoe, a whip or even another person enacting a specific role.

But sexual fetish is taboo. It has a naughty appeal, a kinky-fun image for many but it also conjures up sinister pleasures for some and is victim to biased perceptions. Many women will proudly confess to having a ‘fetish for shoes’ for which they can’t stop shopping but when a man confesses to having a shoe fetish, it is regarded in a rather different light altogether. This is the taboo of sexual fetishism - where sexual arousal and gratification take the place of an act of faith.

So ‘Fetish’ is a taboo subject of scorn for many but for others it is a lifestyle. It is in fact a busy sub-culture complete with clubs, magazines, fashion lines, arts and crafts and even it’s own niche celebrities. Such people, organisations and events can be found easily on the net and in many larger cities, the fetish clubs are publically advertised as much as any other sub-culture event. But for those who are unfamiliar with this underworld of power-play, costume and drama, the word ‘fetish’ tends to conjure up awkward feelings about sex and sexuality.

But why? Perhaps, it is because a sexual fetish is more revealing than naked sex itself. In an act of sexual fetishism, much more is exposed than the body - the mind itself is stripped bare revealing a person’s most intimate desires and vulnerabilities.

Interestingly, like the faith bound fetishist, the sexual fetishist is also wrapped up in the very same ecclesiastical themes of Symbolism and Power. As such, fetish culture is heavily represented through ideas of costume and role-play. From a latex nun habit, to restrictive gender biased clothing and even purpose built bondage apparatus, fetish is all about experimenting with situations to attain a certain sense of emotional satisfaction as well as sexual gratification.

Dressing Up

Everything we do as humans, represents something hidden within. Our bodies are essentially ‘billboards for our minds’ and we outwardly express our ideas, thoughts and feeling in how we dress and appear to others. From ancient religious pageants through glossy period drama and all the way to the latest catwalk fashion show, we see costume based on sexual theatrics acted out with both naivety and carnality in equal measures.

Moral codes and sexual etiquette in a society are clearly represented in fashion where people adorn layer upon layer of symbolic meaning and cloth is cut to attract or divert attention to erogenous zones. One only has to think of the Victorians to see where such prudish people opted for the most restrictive, figure enhancing attire possible. It would be fair to say that much of the dress up aspect of fetish culture is an adventurous advancement on the British favourite - the ‘Vicars and Tarts’ party. Similarly, when Hallowe’en comes around, adults seize the opportunity to dress up – with particular emphasis on sexually provocative characters and alter-egos.

Costume and style represent layers of psycho-social armour which, when peeled away, leave us feeling vulnerable and without identity. Dressing to take on a character, an alter-ego is at the heart of sexual role-play and makes up the glamorous image of modern fetish culture where weird and wonderful provocative costumes are proudly paraded. The common themes of their symbolic dressing reflects ideals of authority and innocence alike; from cops and nurses to clergymen and schoolgirls the costumes tend to represents varying potions of trust and power.

So fashion designers working within the fetish industry itself, demonstrate both creativity and innovation in their designs where the outfits reflect both introverted sensitivity and extroverted spectacle. As such, we can see that the main influencing factors appear to be restriction of movement (i.e. ‘bondage shirts’, hoods, corsetry and ‘pony girl boots’), tactile sensation of the materials (i.e. latex, PVC, leather) and of course the symbolic identity of the designs (i.e. innocence, authority figures, animals).

Control

Whether through prayer, fasting, self-flagellation, domination, submission or direct sexual stimulation, fetish practitioners are typically exploring their personal boundaries of control - resulting in an altered state of mind which provides a sense of peace and balance.

Whether it’s gaining control or giving control through role play, object fixation or dress up, they are each exercising ideas of personal power. Some fetishists achieve their satisfaction through measured repetitive actions where as others open themselves up to the mercy and manipulation of others. In the now almost comical, archetypical circumstance of the high powered business executive who visits a dominatrix for chastisement and punishment (for being a naughty boy), it is often argued that he is alleviating the daily stress of being in control, by empowering someone else to take control away from him for a short time.

The fetish industry caters for a huge range of ‘power play’. From adult babies, ‘sissy boy’ transvestites and ‘foot worship’ to hair-cutting, role-playing, body piercing, boot-licking and BDSM ( that’s Bondage/Dominance/Submission/Sado-Masochism), Fetishists come in all shapes and sizes, genders and sexes, kinks and twists. The power dynamics are often quite complicated - empowered masters and mistresses are, ironically only in charge because their ‘slaves’ are willingly allowing them to be so. ‘Safe words’ are typically used to cut short any activity that has gone too far for the recipient and thus, the roles of control are often illusory.

The fetish world also make a point of emphasising the importance of consent and here lies it’s true power – everyone is equal regardless of their ‘role’.

In bondage, some are attracted to the idea of restraint – including bodily suspension – others, are attracted to the aesthetics of the complicated ‘rope work’ (often known as shibari) and is considered an art-form.

Some prefer psychological power play such as ‘forced feminisation’ where a man is forced to wear female clothes, make up and behave as a ‘sissy girl’. In it’s more extreme circumstances, some people opt in for ‘humiliation’ – where a person is systematically degraded by another, often stripping them of their human qualities.

Clubs have strict rules regarding behaviour. The issue of consent and respect are paramount and some things are even taboo for some clubs and are not allowed. At one end, many fetishes seem innocuous and almost light-hearted spots of spanking or tickling, dressing up fun, but at the other extreme some take their power play to potentially dangerous levels. Such activities such as ado-masochism are often particularly controversial – sometimes even in the industry itself. Such activities include ‘breath play’ and ‘blood play’ where participant are doing just that – playing with the breathing and bleeding of others.

Whether it’s arousal from an object or the objectification of another person, fetishists are giving over temporary control to their chosen fetish icon. In giving control to another, they are essentially releasing themselves from their own individual, day-to-day worries, biases and idiosyncratic fears. Whether such mental states are achieved through physical restraint, the role-playing of innocent characters or the application of pain and/or pleasure, the fundamental idea of personal release is the same. It is an ironic notion to pair bondage with freedom and pain with peace, but it is the very juxtaposition of these contrasting ideas that hold the appeal for so many who feel the weight of one and long for the other.

So will fetish ever become main stream? Probably not – at least not beyond coffee table books and risqué pop videos. For many, it is the underground, exclusive, naughty, taboo that holds the fascination and so it would ultimately lose it’s appeal. From a business perspective, the industry is, unsurprisingly, fraught with in-fighting power struggles where individuals are in charge regardless of their ability to lead in the real world. But as it always has done, the world of kinky sex will endure and adapt to society’s every changing moral code.

Perhaps in a society that lacks its daily dose of Hellfire and Brimstone, more are choosing to exercise their demons in a more tangible, social way. Can we have a fetish for our own happiness? Sexual fetishism is a methods of escapism. Whether following the law of the loins or an idiosyncratic attachment, we all follow our individual masters – ourselves.

Kittie Klaw writes for the Ministry of Burlesque

www.ministryofburlesque.com