Sex doctor: Keep your love life spicy
Tuesday 16 September 2008
You can make love to the same person for the rest of your life in a million different ways, places and situations. Here are some foreplay tips for familiar lovers and some great ideas for just about anyone.
*Combine romance with eroticism. You feel great when he sends you flowers, so why not return the favour? Try sending a bottle of expensive vintage champagne, red wine or port. Now turn that loving gesture into a sexy one. Enclose a note explaining in great detail exactly what he did to deserve such luxurious spoils.
*Become a bookworm. Invest 50 in your love life by walking into any good bookshop and walking out with your arms full of sex books. You don't have to read them cover to cover, just dip inside once in a while to keep things fresh. While you're there, splash out on a racy novel too. Find the good bits and read them out to each other as a form of foreplay.
*Have a bed picnic. Set up chilled wine and an ice-bucket in your bedroom, foods you can eat with your fingers (fresh fruit, chocolates); have an erotic movie playing in the background on the bedroom DVD player.
*Once isn't always enough. There's a lot of hype about women having more than one orgasm, but he likes double helpings too. Have sex in the morning on the weekend, then drag him back to bed an hour later.
*Be her sex slave for a day. An especially good idea if you're broke and her birthday is looming. All you need to do is offer to devote one entire day to pleasuring her.
*Flirt with each other even if you've been together years. Experts say flirting sends natural stimulants surging through the body, creating an instant emotional "high" not unlike orgasm. Pretend you've just met him and act as you did at the beginning. Be aware of your body when you move in front of him and chances are he'll sit up and take notice too.
*Send sexy notes. The written word is extremely powerful. In the fridge stuck to the juice, in her briefcase and make-up bag. Each one describes bits of her you find so sexy. Or you could make them 10 things you'd love to do to her right that second.
*Be his mistress. If he's going to have an affair, make sure it's with you. Arrange to meet him at lunchtime in the bar of a plain but presentable hotel. Book a room, buy a bottle of champagne and have forbidden, illicit, wild sex.
*Remember kissing? It's what you used to do when you first met. Many couples find that kissing stops once the relationship gets going or dwindles to a quick snog before getting down to business. A long, passionate kiss can do more to turn both of you on than putting your hands straight down the front of his trousers.
*Keep your clothes on. Feel each other through your clothing, put your leg in between her thighs and let her gyrate against it.
*Be pushy. Bearing down with your vaginal muscles during sex seems to trigger orgasm for many women.
*Keep your eyes open. Watch what's going on when you have sex: look into their face, watch your genitals moving in and out. Stimulate the sense of sight, not just touch.
*Be unpredictable. You're not going to surprise him if you suggest having sex on a Saturday night as you both climb into bed. But you will catch him unawares if you cuddle him from behind when he's cleaning the car, washing up or reading a book.
*Make the move. If your partner is always the one to initiate sex, the message you're sending is: I do it to please you, not because I want to. This leaves both of you feeling cheated. The person initiating sex feels sexier because they're taking control and giving themselves power. Be the boss by taking the lead role during lovemaking as well.
*Lie a little. He's away on business? The next time he calls you late at night, skip the usual stuff and tell him, in intimate detail, what you're wearing. Move on to what you're going to do to him when you get your hands on him. The juicier the better.
*Try one new thing each fortnight. Start off simple. Have a bath together, give each other a foot massage, take off her top or his shirt without using your hands. Then move into things like making love to them with their hands tied behind their back and masturbating in front of each other.
*If you're excited, show it. The biggest turn-on of all is seeing how much you're exciting your partner. If he's driving you wild, show him better still, say so.
Adapted from 'Hot Sex', by Tracey Cox (Transworld, 8.99)
Visit LoveHoney for relationship tips and advice from Tracey Cox. Every week, Tracey answers questions from visitors to the site.
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