Sex doctor: Seduction - the easy way to do it

How do you get someone into your bed? There is no universal answer, but you could do a lot worse than follow these basic steps.

Book the best and best-lit restaurant you can afford. There's a reason why dinner remains the best place to seduce someone. The food-sex connection has been around forever. Few would deny that the best lovers are hedonists: those who enjoy all life's pleasures. Never is this more evident than when someone eats: a good appetite means a lusty libido. There are those who eat to live and those who live to eat. Be one of the latter better to have love handles than be potentially boring in bed.

This means eating sensuously. Eat the way you might nibble on a partner's ear, neck or other bits and savour each mouthful rather than inhale the plate. Demolish a hamburger in 10 seconds flat and she'll dismiss you as a wham-bam-thankyou-man. The only-do-it-on-Saturday-night-with-the-lights-off girl refuses to eat anything but comfort food if you're not into experimenting with exotic fare, you're hardly going to dish up the Kama Sutra behind closed doors. Bread-and-butter taste in food equals bread-and-butter sex.

Even worse is being a fussy, finicky type who hassles the waiter and sends things back to the kitchen four times. If your date's looking alarmed, it's because they're thinking "Christ! What are they going to be like if my body's not up to scratch and the sheets aren't starched let alone if my sexual technique is somehow lacking?"

So: impress with your mouth (steady) and, while you're doing so, find an opportunity to touch. As a general rule, the first person to touch sends the first "I'm keen and want to take this further" signal. Most women know this and don't want to appear pushy or "easy". If you're female, the way around it is to put your hands, arms or legs deliberately near his so he'll "accidentally" touch them.

Even one brief touch has a profound effect on how you relate to each other. Just like moaning in bed, once you've broken the ice and done it once, the embarrassment eases and it seems to flow from there. Start by tentatively touching the back of their hand to make a point; when things have moved to a more intimate level, stroke it back first, then turning it over to stroke the palm teaming meaningful eye contact with a seductive but never smarmy smile. When you're at the point where there's no doubt of your intentions, he can lift her palm to his mouth and start making lazy, wet, sexy circles with his tongue in the centre of it; or the equivalent for her she can maintain cheeky but semi-serious eye contact as she deliberately but subtly licks and sucks his fingers. The invitation could not be more obvious...

Save the first kiss for when you're in the cab on the way back to your or their place. But, first, close your eyes and cast your mind back to when you were 14 and snogging for Britain behind the school bike shed. Back then you'd spend hours locking lips; as "grown-ups" we ignore the pleasures of puckering up because it seems more adult to be aiming for multiple orgasms. Which is a shame, because a gob-smackingly great snog can transport you to another world one inhabited only by your mouth, theirs, and the delicious sensations you're experiencing. Our mouths, tongues and lips are a minefield of sensory apparatus: packed with nerve endings and remarkably responsive. Quite apart from that, the first kiss is the litmus test of whether the other person is going to let you take it further. Deliver a snog that's melt material no stiff tongues please and they'll predict that good sex is to follow. If it's awful, then they won't go there.

If you've got them pegged as the romantic type, cup their face in both your hands before moving in for the kill. Lusty types will prefer you to showcase a variety of kissing techniques nips, chews, bites and licks that really explores all of their mouth.

If you've done the job properly so far, once you are home, the obligatory night caps and coffee become merely polite pathways to the inevitable, slow, teasing removal of clothes and a quiet retreat to the bedroom.



Tracey Cox is author of 'The Sex Doctor' (Transworld, 7.99)

Visit LoveHoney for relationship tips and advice from Tracey Cox. Every week, Tracey answers questions from visitors to the site.

PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookPart of The Independent’s new eBook series The Great Composers
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Tradewind Recruitment: Geography Teacher

    £90 - £140 per day: Tradewind Recruitment: On behalf of a successful academy i...

    Investigo: Finance Business Partner

    £45000 - £50000 per annum: Investigo: My client, a global leader in providing ...

    Austen Lloyd: Commercial Property Solicitor - West London

    Excellent Salary: Austen Lloyd: WEST LONDON - An excellent new opportunity wit...

    Recruitment Genius: Florist Shop Manager

    £8 - £10 per hour: Recruitment Genius: A Florist Shop Manager is required to m...

    Day In a Page

    Syria crisis: Celebrities call on David Cameron to take more refugees as one young mother tells of torture by Assad regime

    Celebrities call on David Cameron to take more Syrian refugees

    One young mother tells of torture by Assad regime
    The enemy within: People who hear voices in their heads are being encouraged to talk back – with promising results

    The enemy within

    People who hear voices in their heads are being encouraged to talk back
    'In Auschwitz you got used to anything'

    'In Auschwitz you got used to anything'

    Survivors of the Nazi concentration camp remember its horror, 70 years on
    Autumn/winter menswear 2015: The uniforms that make up modern life come to the fore

    Autumn/winter menswear 2015

    The uniforms that make up modern life come to the fore
    'I'm gay, and plan to fight military homophobia'

    'I'm gay, and plan to fight military homophobia'

    Army general planning to come out
    Iraq invasion 2003: The bloody warnings six wise men gave to Tony Blair as he prepared to launch poorly planned campaign

    What the six wise men told Tony Blair

    Months before the invasion of Iraq in 2003, experts sought to warn the PM about his plans. Here, four of them recall that day
    25 years of The Independent on Sunday: The stories, the writers and the changes over the last quarter of a century

    25 years of The Independent on Sunday

    The stories, the writers and the changes over the last quarter of a century
    Homeless Veterans appeal: 'Really caring is a dangerous emotion in this kind of work'

    Homeless Veterans appeal

    As head of The Soldiers' Charity, Martin Rutledge has to temper compassion with realism. He tells Chris Green how his Army career prepared him
    Wu-Tang Clan and The Sexual Objects offer fans a chance to own the only copies of their latest albums

    Smash hit go under the hammer

    It's nice to pick up a new record once in a while, but the purchasers of two latest releases can go a step further - by buying the only copy
    Geeks who rocked the world: Documentary looks back at origins of the computer-games industry

    The geeks who rocked the world

    A new documentary looks back at origins of the computer-games industry
    Belle & Sebastian interview: Stuart Murdoch reveals how the band is taking a new direction

    Belle & Sebastian is taking a new direction

    Twenty years ago, Belle & Sebastian was a fey indie band from Glasgow. It still is – except today, as prime mover Stuart Murdoch admits, it has a global cult following, from Hollywood to South Korea
    America: Land of the free, home of the political dynasty

    America: Land of the free, home of the political dynasty

    These days in the US things are pretty much stuck where they are, both in politics and society at large, says Rupert Cornwell
    A graphic history of US civil rights – in comic book form

    A graphic history of US civil rights – in comic book form

    A veteran of the Fifties campaigns is inspiring a new generation of activists
    Winston Churchill: the enigma of a British hero

    Winston Churchill: the enigma of a British hero

    A C Benson called him 'a horrid little fellow', George Orwell would have shot him, but what a giant he seems now, says DJ Taylor
    Growing mussels: Precious freshwater shellfish are thriving in a unique green project

    Growing mussels

    Precious freshwater shellfish are thriving in a unique green project