Questionnaire: Are you sexually liberated?

We may celebrate living in a politically correct society, but there's one realm that still holds out against the sociocultural dictats of liberalism, one last arena unconquered by what the Pope calls the "dictatorship of relativism". Yes, it's the private head space of the human mind. You can pay all the lip service you like to the multicultural and metrosexual ideal, but in your heart of hearts do you still harbour the taboos and prejudices of yesteryear? Answer these questions as honestly as you can. Tick ONE answer per question.



1. Swept up in the dancing at a carnival you find yourself hoisted onto a Gay Pride float, manned by a troupe of lesbian Freddie Mercury look-alikes wearing nothing but leather chaps. Do you:

a. Hurl yourself into the crowd and flee

b. Strip off your top, push your way to the front of the float and shake your "booty"

c. Keep out of sight at the back of the crowded float and self-consciously jig along to the beat

d. Get your friends to take a couple of smiling pictures and then dismount



2. Your 17-year-old son brings home a guy he met at a friend's house. You see them kissing, and then he asks if his new pal can stay over tonight. Do you:

a. Let his friend stay but only if they sleep in different rooms

b. Decide that he's old enough to make his own choices and agree to let them share a bed

c. Throw the friend out on the street, and tell your son that he's broken your heart

d. Point out that it's a school night and he still has to do his homework



3. Your white British sister phones from Pakistan to tell you she's met the love of her life. Do you:

a. Secretly hope she's met some ex-pat white guy

b. Worry that she'll have to convert to Islam and begin wearing a full burka when she gets back to Britain

c. Start fantasising about an exotic Asian wedding with henna, bhangra music and lots of dancing

d. Point out that her would-be in-laws will never accept her, so why should you accept him



4. Your new neighbours blithely inform you that they are swingers. Do you:

a. Ask them for some hilarious party anecdotes

b. Ask your partner if he/she wants to go to one of your neighbours' parties

c. Avoid their company

d. Move house



5. A drunken gay friend starts to recount in graphic detail his visit to an after-hours sauna party called "Fists of Fury". Do you:

a. Stop him before he goes into any further detail

b. Continue to listen in mounting but prurient horror

c. Quiz him in depth about the exact mechanics of his exploits

d. For a moment fantasise about doing something similar

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookA delicious collection of 50 meaty main courses
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

SPONSORED FEATURES

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Office Administrator

    Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: They make daily deliveries to most foodservice...

    Recruitment Genius: Transport Planner

    Negotiable: Recruitment Genius: They make daily deliveries to most foodservice...

    Recruitment Genius: Web Developer - C#, ASP.Net, MVC, jQuery

    £42000 - £50000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Our client is looking for a C# ...

    Recruitment Genius: General Driver - Automotive

    £15500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: One of the South East's leading Motor Re...

    Day In a Page

    Solved after 200 years: the mysterious deaths of 3,000 soldiers from Napoleon's army

    Solved after 200 years

    The mysterious deaths of 3,000 soldiers from Napoleon's army
    Every regional power has betrayed the Kurds so Turkish bombing is no surprise

    Robert Fisk on the Turkey conflict

    Every regional power has betrayed the Kurds so Turkish bombing is no surprise
    Investigation into wreck of unidentified submarine found off the coast of Sweden

    Sunken sub

    Investigation underway into wreck of an unidentified submarine found off the coast of Sweden
    Instagram and Facebook have 'totally changed' the way people buy clothes

    Age of the selfie

    Instagram and Facebook have 'totally changed' the way people buy clothes
    Not so square: How BBC's Bloomsbury saga is sexing up the period drama

    Not so square

    How Virginia Woolf saga is sexing up the BBC period drama
    Rio Olympics 2016: The seven teenagers still carrying a torch for our Games hopes

    Still carrying the torch

    The seven teenagers given our Olympic hopes
    The West likes to think that 'civilisation' will defeat Isis, but history suggests otherwise

    The West likes to think that 'civilisation' will defeat Isis...

    ...but history suggests otherwise
    The bald truth: How one author's thinning hair made him a Wayne Rooney sympathiser

    The bald truth

    How thinning hair made me a Wayne Rooney sympathiser
    Froome wins second Tour de France after triumphant ride into Paris with Team Sky

    Tour de France 2015

    Froome rides into Paris to win historic second Tour
    Fifteen years ago, Concorde crashed, and a dream died. Today, the desire to travel faster than the speed of sound is growing once again

    A new beginning for supersonic flight?

    Concorde's successors are in the works 15 years on from the Paris crash
    I would never quit Labour, says Liz Kendall

    I would never quit party, says Liz Kendall

    Latest on the Labour leadership contest
    Froome seals second Tour de France victory

    Never mind Pinot, it’s bubbly for Froome

    Second Tour de France victory all but sealed
    Oh really? How the 'lowest form of wit' makes people brighter and more creative

    The uses of sarcasm

    'Lowest form of wit' actually makes people brighter and more creative
    A magazine editor with no vanity, and lots of flair

    No vanity, but lots of flair

    A tribute to the magazine editor Ingrid Sischy
    Foraging: How the British rediscovered their taste for chasing after wild food

    In praise of foraging

    How the British rediscovered their taste for wild food