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Around two thirds of us will eventually get married, 42 per cent of those marriages are going to break down. That leaves less than a third of us in happy marriages 'til death do us part'.
It seems a lot of people who get married go in with a preconcieved idea, and when the reality doesn't match up, relationships can break down.
Hundreds of people have shared the most disturbing truths that they’ve learned about marriage the hard way on social answers site Quora .
As one user said: “Most disturbing is how the actual thing is so vastly different than anything it's purported to be”.
Most people go in to marriage not knowing what to expect, but these people are here to shed some light on what it’s really to be married in the long run.
Marriage doesn’t guarantee unconditional love
“I don't feel love for my husband 24 hours a day… There are times when we cannot access our love. Sometimes, it's marriage - not love - that keeps us married.”
Marriage won’t solve all your problems
“Couples many times enter into marriage thinking that the other person will fix all of their problems, make them happy, support them fully, enjoy all of their activities, and provide unconditional love. This is a fallacy, and if you enter into marriage believing this, you are doomed.”
There is no ‘normal’ marriage
“With a few exceptions, there is no standard of what is good, normal, acceptable, and what is not. No one can tell you what to do with it, about it; it is entirely your responsibility to manage your marriage. There is no right answer so don't seek one.”
Show all 31 1 /31Love and sex news: in pictures Love and sex news: in pictures What makes a perfect penis? Scientists have now answered one of these great unknowns. According to a new study, “general cosmetic appearance” is the most important penile aspect when it comes to what women value down there. This is swiftly followed by the appearance of pubic hair, penile skin, and girth. Length comes in at number six, with the look of the scrotum trailing closely behind. The least important facet of the phallus, say the scientists, is the “position and shape of meatus”, the vertical slit at the opening of the urethra.
Getty
Love and sex news: in pictures Half of divorcees had doubts on their wedding day Over half of divorcees considered abandoning their husband or wife-to-be at the altar on their wedding day, a new study has revealed. On top of likely worrying about wedding favours and making sure guests behave on their big day, 49 per cent of divorcees admitted they were unsure before the ceremony that their marriage would last. Some 15 per cent of divorcees polled said they were so wracked with doubt that they felt physically sick in the run up to their wedding.
Joe Raedle/Getty Images
Love and sex news: in pictures Students who marry after studying the same subject Picking a university subject is already difficult enough for young people. But here’s an extra piece of data to weigh on your decision: you may be picking a life partner as well. Dan Kopf of the blog, Priceonomics, analysed US Census data and found that the percentage of Americans who marry someone within their own major is actually fairly high. About half of Americans are married, according to the 2012 American Community Survey (part of the Census). And about 28 per cent of married couples over the age of 22 both graduated from college. (The survey didn’t recognise same-sex marriages for the 2012 data, but it will for 2013 onwards, says Kopf).
Sean Gallup/Getty Images
Love and sex news: in pictures How much sex we have (and how much we'd like) As a nation, we don’t have as much sex as we would like, a survey has (somewhat unsurprisingly) confirmed. In a poll of 1523 people by YouGov, 64 per cent of Britons said they would wish to have sex at least a few times a month. The same sample said that only 38 per cent had sex at least a few times a month. In addition, 10 per cent said they wished to have sex every day, a goal which only 1 per cent admitted reaching.
Rex
Love and sex news: in pictures The new female condom Picture an internal condom. The chances are you’re thinking of something which resembles a carrier bag. However, this could all be about to change with the new VA w.o.w. Condom Feminine. Not only is it a wireless, Bluetooth enabled, vibrating interactive device, which comes available in the shape of a heart, but the manufacturers think you’ll love it more than not using a condom at all.
Love and sex news: in pictures One in five Brits admit to having had an affair One in five British adults admits they have had an affair, according to a new poll. 20 per cent of male respondents and 19 per cent of female respondents admitted to having had an affair in a new poll of 1660 respondents by YouGov.
Orlando /Three Lions/Getty Images
Love and sex news: in pictures The UK's favourite sex position Casting aside the myth that Brits are a prudish bunch, a new survey has revealed that doggy style is the nation’s favourite sex position. As many as a quarter of UK adults surveyed said doggy style was their favourite way to indulge with a partner. Missionary, which is sometimes scoffed at the most boring position, was favoured by a fifth of the 1,000 people surveyed by high street sex shop Ann Summers, seeing it come in as third under "woman on top".
Caiaimage/REX
Love and sex news: in pictures Who's most likely to cheat? Men and women who are economically dependent on their spouses are more likely to cheat, a new study has revealed. Researchers have found that men who are solely financially dependent are more like to cheat than women, at 15 per cent and 5 per cent respectively. Men who are rely on their wives may cheat because they are undergoing a “masculinity threat” by not being the primary breadwinner as is culturally expected, said study author Christin L. Munsch, a UConn assistant professor of sociology.
Eye Candy/REX
Love and sex news: in pictures Jailed for loud sex noises A woman who breached a court order barring her from causing nuisance by making "loud sex noises" was sent to jail. Gemma Wale, of Small Heath, Birmingham, was given a two-week prison sentence after a civil court judge concluded that she had breached the order by "screaming and shouting whilst having sex" at a "level of noise" which annoyed a neighbour.
Rex Features
Love and sex news: in pictures Photo of wedding guest proposing to girlfriend in front of bride and groom goes viral When the staggering amount time, money, and effort that goes into to planning a wedding is considered, it seems pretty obvious that all guests have is to do is turn up with some gifts, and not upstage the couple. But this fact seems to have escaped one man, whose grinning face has gone viral after he decided to propose to his girlfriend in front of the bride and groom’s top table. The photo, which has been viewed over 1.4 million times on Reddit, shows a boyfriend perched on one knee in front of his crying girlfriend.
Joe Raedle/Getty Images
Love and sex news: in pictures Sexual fantasies The results of a sex survey are busting the myth that Britons are sexually repressed, by revealing how the majority of women have lived out their sexual fantasies. As many as 81 per cent of women and 77 per cent of men have shared and acted out fantasies with a partner – with having sex in public topping the list of turn-ons. The study also laid bare the influence of TV and film on our desires, with three-quarters of couples saying they had inspired them. Meanwhile, a further three quarters of women and over half of men have played out a fantasy they’d found in a book.
LEO RAMIREZ/AFP/Getty Images
Love and sex news: in pictures The world's sexiest nationalities Irish men are the world’s sexiest, according to a survey of thousands of jet-setting women. In a poll of 66,000 of single American women who use MissTravel.com, as many as 8,000 said that Irish men are the sexiest. Around half of the females who took said they were turned on by Irish men said their accent influenced their choice, according to the Irish Times.
ANDREW COWIE/AFP/Getty Images
Love and sex news: in pictures More sex = happiness? Couples were asked to double the amount of sex they had each week over a three month period by researchers at the Carnegie Mellon University, who compared them to couples who had their normal amount of sex. Their findings, published in the Journal of Economic Behavior, went against advice given by the average self-help book – having more sex doesn’t automatically make a person happier. Instead, couples who were instructed to have more sex reported a decrease in happiness levels.
Mood Board/Rex
Love and sex news: in pictures Most sexually satisfied countries It is often considered the most amorous nation on the planet, but France doesn't even feature in a new list of the most sexually satisfied countries. According to a Durex global survey of 26,000 people, aged 16 and older, across 26 countries, only 44 per cent of people are fully satisfied with their sex lives. In the wake of these results, AlterNet has compiled a list of the 12 most sexually satisfied countries, with Switzerland, Spain and Italy topping the list.
INDRANIL MUKHERJEE/AFP/Getty Images
Love and sex news: in pictures Sex o'clock They say women are from Venus and men are from Mars – but a new sex survey suggests that members of the opposite sex seem to operate in different time zones too. While women like to get steamy between 11:21pm on average, men are more likely to be turned on at the rather inconvenient time of 7:54am. These times fall into the broader timeslots of 11pm and 2am for women, and 6am and 9am for men.
PIERRE ANDRIEU/AFP/Getty Images
Love and sex news: in pictures More sex = more money People who have more sex are likely to earn more, new research claims. The research, partly conducted from the responses of 7,500 people, found employees who have sex two or three times a week earn 4.5 per cent more than colleagues who do not.
Rex
Love and sex news: in pictures The effects of watching porn Contrary to suggestion that porn desensitises viewers to sex, a study has found that it doesn't "negatively impact sexual functioning" and in fact boosts couples' sexual attraction to one another. In research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, scientists at the University of California tested the effects of visual sexual stimuli on men in relationships, finding that it "is unlikely to negatively impact sexual functioning, given that responses actually were stronger in those who viewed more VSS."
Rex
Love and sex news: in pictures 'I have herpes' A woman diagnosed with herpes at the age of 20 has written an emotional essay about living with the common condition to fight the stigma surrounding it. Ella Dawson, now 22, said she had never had unprotected sex and thought she “wasn't the sort of person STDs happened to” when the symptoms first appeared during her time at university in the US. She wrote that the diagnosis initially felt like a “punishment” for her values and relationships and worried her that telling boyfriends would ruin her love life.
Ella Dawson
Love and sex news: in pictures More sleep, better sex A new study could have a simple answer to enhancing your sex life – just get a good night’s sleep (if you are a woman at least). A study conducted by a team at the University of Michigan Sleep and Circadian Research Laboratory found women who get an extra hour of sleep at night reported higher levels of sexual desire and were more likely to have sex with their partners.
Getty Images
Love and sex news: in pictures Swipe right A woman has detailed her experiences of a week of always swiping right on Tinder. By “opening the floodgates,” as Ms Caster describes it, she receives scores of messages from different men – and not all are terrible.
Love and sex news: in pictures The most adulterous town in the UK Ever wondered what the neighbours are up to? Well if you live in Beeston, Nottinghamshire, then the answer is probably... having an affair. The bustling East Midlands town has been granted the dubious honour of being the UK's top spot for infidelity – with a total of 941 affairs reportedly taking place right now. According to The Official Infidelity Index 2015, which was released this week, 2.54 per cent of the town’s population are currently seeing someone they shouldn't.
REX FEATURES
Love and sex news: in pictures Average penis size revealed Scientists have measured more than 15,000 men’s penises in an effort to find out what size is “normal”. Researchers at King’s College London and a London NHS trust said they hoped the review would help address “the concern that some men have about their penis size” and aid people suffering from anxiety and distress. They revealed that the average flaccid penis is 3.6ins (9.16cm) long, or 5.2ins (13.24cm) when stretched, and 3.7ins (9.31cm) in circumference. Erect penises are 5.1ins (13.12cm) long on average and 4.5ins (11.66cm) in girth.
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Love and sex news: in pictures One true love Men fall in love more times in their life than women, according to a new survey. 2,000 adults were asked about relationships, and discovered that more than half of men say they've loved more than one person their lifetime. For women, it's markedly fewer, with only 45 per cent saying they've had multiple loves.
Love and sex news: in pictures Dating site for 'beautiful people only' A self-proclaimed “elite” dating website has removed around 3,000 members because they were "letting themselves go". BeautifulPeople.com describes itself as the “largest internet dating community exclusively for the beautiful” and puts people’s photographs to a members’ vote to decide if they are allowed in. But administrators have now shown that the rigorous 48-hour selection period is not a permanent pass by taking thousands of profiles down, mainly because of weight gain and “graceless ageing”.
Love and sex news: in pictures Sex is a 'miracle cure' Regular exercise – including sex, walking and dancing – are “miracle cures staring us in the face” and could dramatically cut our risk of cancer, dementia, heart disease and diabetes, leading doctors have said. In a new review of existing evidence which reveals the full extent of benefits that can be accrued from exercise, the Academy of Medical Royal Colleges said the improvement in health and savings to the NHS could be “incalculable”.
Susannah Ireland
Love and sex news: in pictures Pornhub searches by age of user Pornhubs prolific Insights blog fires out many reports of sociological interest, none more so than its latest on age, which lays bare different age groups' sexual proclivities. Looking at the most popular searches among 18-24s, there are several familial terms including 'step mom', 'milf', 'mom' and 'step sister', a trend that seems to die out somewhat in users' 30s. By 65, 'massage' becomes the top term, while 'granny' perhaps unsurprisingly also hits the top ten.
PlaceIt/Just Another IKEA Catalog
Love and sex news: in pictures Mature sex Research into the sexual lives of more than 7,000 men and women between the ages of 50 and 90 in England reveals that half of men and almost a third of women aged 70 and over were still sexually active, with around a third of these sexually active older people having sexual intercourse twice a month or more. Around two-thirds of men and over half of women thought “good sexual relations were essential to the maintenance of a long-term relationship” or “being sexually active was physically and psychologically beneficial to older people”.
Getty Creative
Love and sex news: in pictures The secret to an eighty year marriage Figures from the Office of National Statistics show that 42 per cent of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce, and the average British marriage which ends in divorce lasts 11 years and six months. Helen and Maurice Kaye, now aged 101 and 102, have been married for 80 years, and say the secret is: “I think it’s important to have patience and tolerance. You're two entirely different people who suddenly live together, which can't be easy. But if you love each other, you get over the difficulties.”
Love and sex news: in pictures Valentine's Day porn Pornhub saw a (slight) drop in traffic on Valentine's Day as people focused on pleasuring their partners rather than themselves. Everywhere, it is, except for London. Overall UK traffic dipped 3 per cent across the UK, with Plymouth and Oxford seeing the biggest drops of 11 per cent and 10 per cent respectively. In fact every major city spent less time watching porn bar London, the Pornhub audience for which grew by 2 per cent.
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Love and sex news: in pictures 1 in 10 men paying for sex A tenth of British men have admitted to paying for sex, according to a new study. Professionals aged 25 to 34 who binge drink and take drugs were found to be the most likely to have used the services of prostitutes, based on findings from a study of 6,108 men. Around 11 per cent of subjects, in the study published in the Sexually Transmitted Infections journal, have ever paid for sex in their lifetime and four per cent admitted to doing so in the last five years.
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Love and sex news: in pictures Questions that determine if you're in love The existence of love and its nature is something that has troubled philosophers for centuries, but a pair of scientists believe they have a set of questions that yield "clear empirical evidence" of it, or at least whether your relationship will end in divorce. They are: 'How happy are you in your marriage relative to how happy you would be if you weren't in the marriage?' and 'How do you think your spouse answered that question?'
Columbia
A successful marriage often requires more than two people
“Be it a bit of healthy jealousy or that special support by friends and family in the low times of a relationship, there is always someone else's direct or indirect intervention in making a marriage successful.”
Compromise is a fundamental part
“Marriage is a never ending series of compromises until it doesn't matter anymore. You learn what is important, when to fight your battles, when to be quiet. And as you move forward you realize that there were two of you that became one. You don't lose your individuality, but you are two parts of something. Hopefully something that lasts forever. Compromises are key when needed.”
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