Lyric sheets: Sir Elton Takes Stock
Friday 30 January 1998
in your stable
Or have Lord Linley knock
you up a table
Enough to buy the bigger
sort of Bentley
Assured that all antiques
will travel gently
Enough to hire an Admirable
To help a knight alighting
from his phaeton
A pension to remunerate
For sterling service with
A phone in any colour
that you feel
(Not taking up the Friends
and Family deal)
But not enough the
To keep your books from edging
to the red
And if this is beyond your comprehension
You realise that it
Life & Style blogs
Alexander McQueen at auction: What makes a really great piece of fashion?
A bottle of wine a day is not bad for you and abstaining is worse than drinking, scientist claims
No female ejaculation, please, we’re British: a history of porn and censorship
Stressed nurses are 'forced to choose between health of patients and their own'
Pornhub: Kim Kardashian's sex tape is the most-watched porn video of all-time
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
Nigel Farage's approval rating hits 'record low' as popularity suffers in wake of Ukip sex scandal
Pakistan school attack live: Taliban kill at least 132 children in 'horrifying' massacre
Rozanne Duncan: Ukip expels councillor for 'jaw-dropping' comments made in BBC TV interview
Sony hack: Angelina Jolie branded 'seriously out of her mind' in further embarrassing leaked email saga
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
£20000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...
£30000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...
£36500 per annum + pension + holidays: The Jenrick Group: Electrical Maintenan...
£30000 - £40000 per annum + pension + holidays: The Jenrick Group: Multi Skill...